My Sick Weekend

by Lukas Kendall

You'll have to excuse this column as I just spent the weekend with 101 fever doing nothing but sleeping and watching TV. I didn't have time to prepare a column for today so I figure I will just write some notes about everything I've watched. Please keep in mind that I have watched probably 15 minutes or less of everything mentioned here, as my already short attention span has been reduced even further by my miserable fever.

Innerspace: I remember not liking this when it came out but it seems like a masterpiece compared to today's movies. The Martin Short character and comic antics are annoying but the entire first miniturization sequence, and subsequent theft/flight/pursuit with the fake-armed guy, is very exciting. When I was little, I confused the bad guy in Innerspace with Ronny Cox, I don't see how I could ever do that. And Goldsmith's score is great of course. Goldsmith at the time was messing around with synths and so there are some irritating pinging things, but overall his action music is impeccable as always.

Two movies with grainy early '80s optical airplane composites. Ready? Firefox and Never Say Never Again. Firefox is deadly dull but I kept checking back to hear when Maurice Jarre would make the transition from electronic cues (idiomatic of that early '80s vibe, forgettable), to orchestral--which he finally did for the final airplane sequence. I love Maurice Jarre's music but was he watching the same movie? As a director Clint Eastwood has made a career out of lethargy. I also saw bits of The Eiger Sanction, which has a great pre-Star Wars John Williams score.

As for Never Say Never Again, what a hideous title song... I haven't seen this for years. I love Connery but Michel Legrand's score is wildly inappropriate. It's odd too, because I was listening to the new Thomas Crown Affair CD (which I love) and thought, damn, this is so sexy, I wonder why they never got Legrand to do a Bond movie? And of course I remembered that they had, but it didn't work.

In Never Say Never Again there are some sound effects when the missiles fly overhead at the beginning which sound exactly like snowspeeders from The Empire Strikes Back. And, the director is the same, Irvin Kershner. Coincidence?

THX-1138. I saw this in a theater (the New Beverly Cinema here in L.A.; the physical space of the theater sucks but they should great movies) a few weeks ago and was thinking, no wonder no one wanted to see this. It is much less oppressive on TV. Masterfully subtle score by Lalo Schifrin. Any Star Wars fan who has not seen this HAS TO SEE IT right away. You will be amazed. A lot of the sound montage (by the great Walter Murch) is identical to Star Wars and it is really cool to see how Lucas adapted his dark, avant garde directing style (which it was for THX) to Star Wars. At the end, there is a chase down an underground roadway with cutting and sound just like the end of Star Wars. The reason Star Wars is so great cinematically (Empire too) is that it is a '70s film at heart. By the way, this weekend I've felt like Duvall at the medicine cabinet: is everything all right? Also THX has some hilarious moments. I won't ruin them.

The Bulls-Pacers game. I bet you think I'm some film score geek but how could I miss this?

John Belushi: The E! True Hollywood Story. Boy, most of E! sucks so bad. I always feel guilty watching it. But Belushi was an amazing talent and I wanted to see his best work. Annoyingly, there weren't many clips (cheapskates). They did show a lot of Martha's Vineyard, where I'm from, and where Belushi had a home and was ultimately buried. My folks knew Belushi through Island connections and we went down to his house once or twice. I was 7 so I didn't know who he was and I just wanted to watch the Red Sox game. Oh, by the way, in the special they included the part where Belushi wanted some punk band to score Neighbors (Bill Conti scored it ultimately); rare to see a music score mentioned in one of these things.

Phil Hartman retrospectives. You want creepy? Hartman and his murder-suicide wife joking around on a Howard Stern rerun.

These wonder-breast supporter infomercials. Has anyone seen these? All right, I don't get it. These are ads not for implants or those supportive wonder-bras but actual silicone breast-hugging slabs that women are supposed to buy and stuff in their bras. For one thing, it's awful to see yet more fleecing of women who are insecure about their bodies. Dammit, I like ALL breasts. For another, what the hell happens when some guy is making out with this girl and finds her bizarre bra stuffings? "Oh, how clever, honey, I thought your boobs were real."

I saw part of that Disney movie Kurt Russell made in the late '60s when he was still a kid.

The Making of Star Trek: First Contact, on HBO. This movie was so bad. This is what I mean by saying that Innerspace seems like a masterpiece today. It was therefore amusing to see a making-of special about this incompetent turkey.

The last Larry Sanders show. This was great. Good David Duchovny bits.

The Making of The Horse Whisperer. Bo-ring.

The Fights of Times of Muhammad Ali, on Classic Sports Network. This is my new favorite channel. Ali was so great.

The Fantastic Four, the original '60s cartoon with the Human Torch (not the stupid robot). What a totally bad-ass main theme.

All right, folks. Sorry if you're looking at this thinking "what they hell is this crap?" We got a new show to do every day! And frankly, I figure my fever-induced media insights are still more interesting than more letters about James Horner. Yah. Back tomorrow with REAL USEFUL information, since there a lot of high-profile CDs coming out.

Send your thoughts: MailBag@filmscoremonthly.com

P.S. I'm getting better. Don't worry.