Funny Letter & Animation Responses

Compiled by Lukas Kendall

Someone sent me the following (don't know who), referring to the nuttiness going on all over our message board, where some people think we are deliberately going through and erasing messages we don't like... something the message board machinery is capable of doing quite arbitrarilty.

I liked it:

From: "Mr T Winky" <MrTWinky@DaiKaiju.globalnet.co.uk>

From a desk(-top computer) on an office in the board room of the 'Guild of Film Score Fans,' a small but outspoken division of 'Music-lovers Opposed to Bullying' or 'M.O.B.' (Unfortunate, but we've printed all the stationery now.)

Dear Lukas & Jeff,

As the Self-Appointed Honorary Executive Officer for Sending Emails to MailBag@filmscoremonthly.com, it is my duty to inform you of matters arising from our society's inaugural meeting, which are of relevance to yourselves.

A) Editorial Decisions.

We find it presumptuously arrogant of you to presume that, simply because you are the editors, you have the right to edit your own magazine and web site. It is not as though you own the place. Nor have you been democratically elected and this is America so don't you think you should have been? Members of this society will be balloted on replacements for you as soon as possible. If Mssrs. Kendall and Bond, or any duly appointed replacements, are unable to purge their humanity and, as such, keep forming opinions, this Guild determines that they should be replaced by automation at the earliest possible opportunity.

We are continually disgusted by the use of your time on writing and researching about film music in place of caring for the feelings of fellow human beings. It is recommended that, in the future, you devote at least half of your magazine to making people feel good about themselves.

B) Treatment of Posts on the FSM Message Board and Publishing of Received Emails.

We find the suggestion that you can possibly have better things to be doing other than reading posts (such as this) both incredulous and insulting.

All removals of posts to the aforementioned message board must be cleared first by the author, in writing. These are ours words, Mr. Kendall, and they deserve better than to be lost forever more by the pressing of your (blistered) hand on a delete key.

The suggestion that technical reasons are responsible for removals of posts is absurd and, even if true, should not be used as an explanation to readers since it may confuse them. You cannot seriously expect your average internet surfer to have encountered such concepts as download times and memory limitations. We suggest you lie (using small words).

The dishonest scheme, in which you publish letters by people who disagree with you so that the innocent 'Joe Public' is fooled into thinking that you are open-minded, fair and interested in intelligent discussion, must be halted.

C) J. Horner & Plagiarism.

The above 'composer' may not be accused of plagiarism for several reasons. Firstly, in some of his early works, Beethoven sounds a bit like Haydn. Secondly, other composers, including J Goldsmith and J Williams, always use the same 12 notes to compose with. And furthermore, often utilize the same instruments to play them! It would be hypocrisy indeed to accuse one and not the other(s). And, anyway, even if he is guilty, his music makes many of our members cry and that's more important than art and it's associated ethics.

D) Impersonation of Mssrs Kendall and Bond on the FSM Message Board.

Literally hundreds of our members have names identical to those of Mssrs. Kendall and Bond or similar enough to be easily misspelled. They cannot be held responsible for typing errors or trying to exercise there right to free-speech under any name / pseudonym they choose.

E) Use of Humour on the Web Site and in the Magazine.

Not all of our members have a sense of humour. Apparently it's out of print and unavailable, even through mail order. (There is also a rumour that you require a DTS decoder to use it. Can you shed any light on this?) As such, use of humour must be stopped since it may make our members confused, upset or look stupid.

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If you should refuse to abide by the judgements of this organizations you will be court ordered to allow your head to be inspected for numerical symbols. We are not suggesting that you are servants of Satan - that is, we grant you, still to be determined (at our next meeting). In the mean time, please do not attempt to leave the country. Also, our members will threaten not to buy your CDs, subscribe to the magazine or read your web pages any more. Of course, they still will do these things but they will threaten not to, so please take these threats very seriously.

Hope this clarifies the operating guidelines we expect you to adhere to. Sorry, if it doesn't. No, dammit, the M.O.B. specifically told me not to apologize to you - whatever I said. Now look what you made me do. Made me disobey my (moral) superiors and feel guilty. Will there be no end to your wrong doing? I demand an apology immediately.

Yeah, so this went on too long, but the first fifth of it (which I read) I liked.

Animation Responses

About our recent column...

From: "Machs Pfennig" <machs_pfennig@hotmail.com>

I realize you could not mention all recent animated films and their music in our article, but no mention whatever of "Tim Burton's Nightmare before Christmas", which was not only animated (stop-motion) but also a musical, and even distributed by Disney? "Nightmare" features 13 songs that are integral to the story, in fact the story was written around them. The songs are also integral to the score; there is even a rousing good old-fashioned overture based on themes from several of the songs, notably "What's This".

All of this music and all the lyrics were written by Danny Elfman, who also provided the singing voice for Jack Skellington. Because of his contribution to the story, Elfman got a producer credit from Tim Burton. Has any film composer ever been so involved in a movie, except for directors like John Carpenter who write their own scores?

How many times in recent animated musicals have we been led by the animators into an elaborate self-contained world only to have it crash into bits at our feet, as our suspension of disbelief snaps the moment a contemporary easy-listening Top 40 song issues from a character's mouth? How many times have we been distracted by clunky lyrics or wedged-in musical numbers that grind the story to a halt? How many characters suddenly lose their personalities, seemingly possessed by the spirit of some glitzy and shallow pop diva? "Mulan" is far from the worst offender, although it suffers from the formula of mood-setting ensemble novelty song followed by contemporary instant hit sung by the lead and featuring navelgazing lyrics. (For a really glaring example of this sort of thing, try "The Hunchback of Notre Dame" or "Anastasia".) "The Lion King" had a nice Hans Zimmer score which further highlighted the bland forgettability of absolutely every song in the film; while surely we can't expect actual African songs from Disney, couldn't we have had Paul Simon or David Byrne here? "Hercules" likewise suffered from songs that all sounded alike.

The songs in "Nightmare" are all excellent, providing mood and characterization as well as plot. There is not a let's-write-a-radio-hit or a let's-stick-a-song-here in the lot. Characters sing about actually doing things, and do so in a wide variety of musical styles that actually suit them. When Jack, singing a declaration of friendship to Sally, musically quotes from her theme, he does so for dramatic as well as musical reasons. Song themes show up in the score here and there, make their point, and then disappear until the next time they are needed; none wear out their welcome. Elfman's performance as the singing voice of Jack Skellington is not only wonderful singing, but wonderful voice-acting as well: the difference between any of the big-name singers in "Mulan" and Elfman as Jack is like the difference between "star quality" and talent.

"Tim Burton's Nightmare Before Christmas" is what an animated musical can be, and what movie music can be, when made by people who aren't afraid of their own creativity.

From: adrian zachow <boingo@spin.net.au>

My honest opinion is that I haven't liked an Alan Menken score after Aladdin, which marks to me the moment Menken's spotlight should have ended. Hunchback of Notre Dame, could well be his best score, but overload from his previous efforts had jaded my ears, and coloured my judgment. True, it did have some good songs, Hellfire, in particular, is memorable. On the other hand, stuff like Topsy Turvy meant the film had to stop in it's tracks for five minutes to sing about a whole lot of nothing. Menken's use of songs don't necessarily mean plot or character development, like say, Danny Elfman's did in Nightmare Before Christmas.

Menken's scores tend to be loud and obnoxious in action, and sugary and glossy with drama ( and this sticking the score on the second half of the album, rather than intermixing it with the songs in chronological order simply does not work.) On screen they match the action, and convey emotion, but remain lumbering walls of orchestral sound without distinctiveness beyond the stereotypical use of ethnic colouration. Use of choirs in Hunchaback was stereotypical. Choirs, and the singing were thick, Broadway style, but these are movies, not Broadway shows. Hercules was unsurprisingly brassy. The Little Mermaid had the freshest, most charming material; Beauty and the Beast was palatable because the film was good; and Aladdin was bearable because of Robin William's raucous singing, and Arabic sound.

To continue my party-pooping rant, The Lion King put me off African music for life! The songs were not plot driven, but a mere statement of character motivations ie, Scar's song, and Simba singing "I Can't Wait To Be King". We should be able to decipher character motivation through action, not pop tunes that get marketed to death in Sing-A-Longs, etc. The score was the film's best feature. Rousing stuff by Zimmer, and I can't wait for what he comes up with in "Prince of Egypt". I just hope it doesn't get the airplay The Lion King got, because if I were to listen to a note from it ever again, Iwill puke.

James Horner's scores for animated films, though not always outsatanding, do tend to make for a more distinctive listening experience. Watching Balto and American Tail or the first Land Befoe Time, one does not get the obnoxious wall of sound treatment, or sticky wet strings, but rather an alternation between mickey-mousing, epic thematic material, and true sentimentality. The music has more character, as well. It also knows it's medium. These are films, not Broadway spectaculars. We can keep that singing more moderate. No need for forty strident female and male singers yelling "Topsy Turvy". If anything, I think the real good work nowadays cannot be pinned to anyone in particualr. Each composer deals with animation in their own way, and there have been hits and misses. Television, however, is where I see the best animated composition. Richard Stone, for his various Warner Bros. projects, is as versatile, and fun as Carl Stalling was in his day. Shirley Walker and those other composers who worked on the Batman Animated Series, also came up with material that should be released some day. Nickelodeon's "Ah! Real Monsters", "Rugrats", and "Rocko's Modern Life", all feature wonderful scores.

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