THIS YEAR'S MOVIES, PART ONE

Brett Ratner directs this caper comedy, his first film since the Superman project fell through. The big question -- Schifrin or Elfman?

This fictionalized biopic of a female boxing promoter was supposed to come out a year ago. The studio probably hoped In the Cut would increase Meg Ryan's marketability -- uh-uh. At any rate, Michael Kamen's untimely demise will give his score for the film some unexpected poignance.
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Wow, it seems like just a year ago that the first of Frankie Muniz' spy comedies was released -- oh, wait, it was. Apparently MGM is desperate for some franchise bucks in between James Bond movies (but not so desperate that they'd greenlight that Halle Berry Die Another Day spinoff), so this time Muniz is teamed up with ubiquitous comic actor Anthony Anderson (not, alas, in the Hilary Duff role).

Ron Howard originally planned to direct this but couldn't see eye-to-eye with the studio, so he indulged his violent Western impulses by making The Missing.
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Oliver Stone makes his first film in five years with this epic about Alexander the Great. Baz Luhrmann was also planning to film the same story but starring Leonardo DiCaprio; what is it about this material that attracts directors with ADD editing styles? Stone's last film, Any Given Sunday, featured irrelevant cutaways to chariot races; perhaps this one will feature inserts of football games. Expect Vangelis's score to sound like 323: Conquest of Everything.

From the director of I Love Trouble and The Affair of the Necklace, with Jude Law recreating the other role that made Michael Caine famous (Ipcress File came first). Officially this remake hasn't been titled, but if I'd written "Untitled Charles Shyer Project" would you even had bothered reading this far? (Coincidentally, Jude Law and Michael Caine are considering a remake of Sleuth from a Harold Pinter script).

Set in the present, so the big question is will Lance Henriksen's character be connected to his role in Aliens? Despite hopeful rumors, Alan Silvestri is reportedly not doing the score. I don't know how they're gonna keep this film from looking like a small scale Godzilla movie, but under the expert handling of director Anderson (Event Horizon, Solder) -- oh, never mind.

The first big hit of the year is a shaky mixture of traditional romantic comedy and modern bathroom humor but manages to be fairly enjoyable, especially with the ace supporting work of Hoffman, Baldwin and Azaria.

Will Ferrell in his first post-Elf vehicle, as a 70s newsman. The trailer looks funny, but your enjoyment will probably depend on your tolerance for Ferrell and 70s jokes.

Jackie Chan is Passepartout, Steve Coogan is Phineas Fogg, and the cameos may not be as impressive as in the 1956 version (despite this film's reported $110,000,000 budget), but have you seen the old version lately? Besides that wonderful Victor Young score, there's not really much to recommend it, and if nothing else Jackie Chan will make a more convincing ladies man than Cantinflas.

Biopic of the young Howard Hughes (so they won't be needing the rights to Ice Station Zebra), co-starring Blanchett as Katharine Hepburn, Beckinsale as Ava Gardner, and Stefani as Jean Harlow

MGM decided that the original film's boxoffice was hampered by its African-American cast, so for the new version Tim Allen takes over the Ice Cube role, supported by Kelsey Grammer, Brian Kerwin, and Vanilla Ice. Just kidding. Queen Latifah's role will lead into a spinoff film, Beauty Shop, because apparently the studio felt Barbershop attracted too many male moviegoers.

Travolta returns as Chili Palmer in Elmore Leonard's sequel to Get Shorty. If director Gray wants to emulate Shorty director Barry Sonnenfeld's style, he'd better start stocking up on wide angle lenses.

Portman's third score for Wayne Wang. The story? Oh, I think it's based on some novel or something.

Probably the smallest budgeted sequel of the year, but also the most deserved, as the lovers from Linklater's wonderful Before Sunrise (who had an animated cameo in Waking Life) reunite nine years later. Please don't suck, please don't suck.

Spacey's pet project turns out to be a vehicle for himself, as Bobby Darin. Expect a lot of close-ups of the star.

Enjoyably weightless but utterly forgettable Elmore Leonard remake, with a George S. Clinton score that tries just a little too hard to keep things lively. The finale is so perfunctory that it feels like the filmmakers got to the last day of shooting and realized they'd forgotten to shoot an ending. Still, the presence of Wilson and Freeman insures that there are worse times to be had at the movies.
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Nicole Kidman meets a little boy who claims to be the reincarnation of her dead husband. It sounds like a pedophile remake of Chances Are but it's actually a thriller, from the director of Sexy Beast.

Goyer, one of the few action movie writers who doesn't suck, directs this third installment of the Blade series (he also wrote the first two). Okay, I give up -- what's Parker Posey doing here?

If nothing else, it's nice they used the title of Ludlum's actual sequel instead of calling it The Bourne Identity II or 2 Bourne 2 Identical. Greengrass directed the lame The Theory of Flight and the stunning Bloody Sunday. With any luck, Stiles will have more to do than she did in the first film.

Renee Zellweger returns to pleasingly plump. The big question is can Beeban Kidron direct a funny film. Oh, you liked To Wong Foo? I guess someone had to.

Terry Gilliam returns to fantasy, thank goodness. Even if it's bad, it'll look amazing.

The worst reviewed film of 2004 (so far) is not completely terrible, though the combination of a nonsensical time travel gimmick, a relentlessly serious tone (a surprise from the writers of the delightfully self-mocking Final Destination 2) and a grueling parade of atrocities (kiddie porn, animal torture, accidental infanticide, amputation) don't help.

Director Freundlich (The Myth of Fingerprints, World Traveler) moves from navel-gazing cinema into family entertainment with this kiddie heist movie, starring the striking, androgynous girl from Panic Room (here she won't be menaced by anything as terrifying as Jared Leto's bad acting in that film).

Long in development (Ashley Judd was announced to star at one point), this is a new origin ish for Gotham City's favorite feline avenger.

With this and Phone Booth, Larry Cohen has a new specialty -- the phone thriller -- but I liked him better back when he was making killer baby movies. It's nice that a 65-year old screenwriter can still get movies made in today's youth-pandering Hollywood, but honestly -- was Cohen ever all that good?

Tommy Lee Jones has to protect cheerleaders. Sounds kind of like Miss Congeniality, but with Jones in the Sandra Bullock role.
 

David "Don't Call Them B Movies" Twohy directs Vin Diesel (who turned down sequels to both Fast and the Furious and XXX -- doesn't he understand that part of being a movie star is doing crappy, unnecessary sequels for an immorally large paycheck?) in this big budget follow up to Pitch Black, adding Dame Dench ("Riddick, you're a misogynist dinosaur") to the mix.

This boxing biopic was once going to be a Lasse Hallstrom movie, but with the Beautiful Mind team involved, you know that if the film's real life subject was in any way gay or unsavory, he won't be that way in the movie.

No, this isn't the one with Julia Stiles. That's The Prince and Me. This one has Hilary Duff and is set in high school.

Redford is menaced by Willem Dafoe. Haven't we all felt that way at one time or another?
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Adaptation of the acclaimed play about the sex lives of a group of Londoners, which recently played on Broadway with Natasha Richardson, Rupert Graves, Anna Friel and Cirian Hinds in the four roles. Since the trauma of What Planet Are You From?, Mike Nichols has apparently decided to stick to adaptations of plays.

Jackson plays a high school basketball coach who benches his entire team. Considering some of the roles Jackson has had in the past, I think the team got off easy.

Futuristic romance from the talented, underappreciated team of Boyce & Winterbottom (24 Hour Party People).

Hitman Cruise holds cab driver Foxx hostage as he goes about his rounds. It's Michael Mann, so expect a long evening at the movies.

The poster has nine separate photos of Freaky Friday star Lohan, so if you don't like Lohan, then for Heaven's sake stay away.

Collette and Vardalos witness a murder and go on the road disguised as drag queens. Still sounds better than My Big Fat Greek Wedding.

Keanu investigates the supernatural, from the comic book Hellblazer. Not to be confused with Hellraiser, or Hellboy, another supernatural comic book movie due later this year (that's the one with the trailer where Ron Perlman wears the phony looking makeup)

American journalist Jackson goes to South Africa, falls for Juliette Binoche; Boorman's first film since The Tailor of Panama.

American remake of the recent Argentine caper film Nine Queens.

This revisionist werewolf movie became more revisionist than the filmmakers had intended when the studio shut it down in mid-shoot, had the script rewritten, and added Joshua Jackson, Portia de Rossi, Michael Rosenbaum, and singer Mya to the cast. That title's starting to sound all too ironic.
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