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 Posted:   Jun 17, 2014 - 3:35 AM   
 By:   Ron Hardcastle   (Member)

Dan the man, who doesn't even provide his (or her) sex in his (or her) nonexistent FSM profile, is actually a woman, with the "dan" short for danielle. But I understand that she's a very manly woman.

 
 Posted:   Jun 17, 2014 - 7:41 AM   
 By:   Jim Phelps   (Member)

Ron Hardcastle is often mistaken for his animated grandfather, Poopdeck Pappy.

 
 
 Posted:   Jun 17, 2014 - 8:29 AM   
 By:   Graham Watt   (Member)

Jim Phelps has fallen into the old trap of inadvertantly telling the truth.

 
 
 Posted:   Jun 17, 2014 - 11:20 AM   
 By:   dan the man   (Member)

to graham- subconsciously this can be true, we for a while forget that these are suppose to be lies. I was going to respond to MR HARDCASTLE to the fact that I have mention my woman or girl many times on the threads, but then I realize he could have thought I was a gay woman. But then I said to myself , wait a minute he is throwing me a lie, of course he knows I am a man.

 
 Posted:   Jun 17, 2014 - 11:25 AM   
 By:   Jim Phelps   (Member)

dan the man's vacation cottage is constructed from laminated voided checks he earned while working at FANGORIA.

 
 Posted:   Jun 17, 2014 - 12:55 PM   
 By:   Ron Pulliam   (Member)

So nice to see that Jim Phelps has risen from his self-imposed exile to his coffin and now walks among the undead.

Did you all know he is opening a store that will be called "Fangs 'R Us"?

 
 Posted:   Jun 17, 2014 - 1:18 PM   
 By:   random guy   (Member)

Ron's promising career as a gangsta rapper was cut short after video surfaced of him admitting he's never slapped a ho before. He's now considering a career in yodeling

 
 Posted:   Jun 17, 2014 - 1:55 PM   
 By:   Jim Phelps   (Member)

random guy has skin tags on his neck that he swears resemble the faces of several Golden Age composers.

 
 
 Posted:   Jun 18, 2014 - 5:09 AM   
 By:   Rick15   (Member)

Jim has composed, conducted and performed the soundtrack to a number of *ahem* adult films.

 
 
 Posted:   Jun 18, 2014 - 9:18 PM   
 By:   dan the man   (Member)

Since RICK has been a kid all his friends and relatives have been telling him PLEASE DON'T LOSE THAT NUMBER.

 
 Posted:   Jun 18, 2014 - 9:24 PM   
 By:   Jim Phelps   (Member)

The creators of the term "Genre Film" have issued a cease and desist order to dan the man preventing him from ever overusing it again (especially since the term is redundant).

 
 Posted:   Jun 18, 2014 - 9:32 PM   
 By:   Ron Hardcastle   (Member)

Let me re-use this one, which I think I used about 6 months ago:

Jim Phelps is the grandfather of swimmer Michael Phelps.

Glad I got that out of the way. Now I can address dan the man. dan, we shouldn't have to go searching for some threads among your 985,000 threads to find the ones in which you revealed that you are indeed a man (so much easier to just check off male in one's profile); but you're right: I was joshing you, because I certainly DO know you're a man (but not, of course, from personal experience). Enough about me. Get back to your FSM life.

 
 
 Posted:   Jun 19, 2014 - 5:31 AM   
 By:   Rick15   (Member)

Ron views the world in Monochrome.

 
 Posted:   Jun 19, 2014 - 7:35 AM   
 By:   Jim Phelps   (Member)

There's a lot of buzz around Rick15 for this year's "Best Lie of the Tell a Lie Thread."

 
 
 Posted:   Jun 19, 2014 - 4:02 PM   
 By:   Rick15   (Member)

Upon me winning the award, Jim will be seen throwing his hands up in the air in disgust and walking out of the ceremony, mumbling something about him deserving to win and the fact that the awards have never been the same since "dan the man" and "Ron Pull.I.am" were added to the selection committee.

His agent will later refute all of this saying that Jim had to leave the ceremony because he was keynote speaker at the Compulsive Liars Annual Dinner.

 
 
 Posted:   Jun 19, 2014 - 6:59 PM   
 By:   dan the man   (Member)

Who is that guy with the red hairpiece in the back, it looks like a makeshift job.[ha-ha]

 
 
 Posted:   Jun 20, 2014 - 1:47 AM   
 By:   Graham Watt   (Member)

When dan the man travels by plane, he prefers to use hand luggage only (no waiting for the suitcases at the end of the flight). But he's still stopped at security every time because one bag contains his woman, and the other a giant slot machine. No room even for a toothbrush.

 
 Posted:   Jun 20, 2014 - 6:26 AM   
 By:   Jim Phelps   (Member)

Graham Watt recently completed his video collection of all the times John Terry argued with his accountant over the phone during the singing of "God Save the Queen" at international football matches.

 
 Posted:   Jun 20, 2014 - 8:54 AM   
 By:   random guy   (Member)

Jim is part of a secret society that protects the world from bad grammar on the internet. Ever vigilant and never failing to make the internet a better place

 
 Posted:   Jun 20, 2014 - 9:12 AM   
 By:   Jim Phelps   (Member)

You can take random guy's map of the solar system that counts Pluto as a planet---from his cold, dead fingers.

 
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