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 Posted:   Jun 27, 2007 - 1:26 PM   
 By:   Heath   (Member)

"Glengarry Glen Ross Glenfiddich Fuck You".

Alec Baldwin returns as the hard-ass salesman with brass balls and a $40,000 Rolex in a new one-man show written by David Mamet. An instant classic featuring Baldwin working his way through a bottle of real malt scotch while alternately threatening his daughter down a mobile phone and practising his presidential acceptance speech.

 
 Posted:   Jun 27, 2007 - 11:26 PM   
 By:   Max Bellochio   (Member)

THE BAKERY (1988)
Remake of an off-beat British comedy about a stock broker (Peter Weller) who risks his career for the dream of owning his own Italian Bakery. Kelly McGillis, Frank Gorshin, Jerry Orbach, Larry Storch, Dennis Franz.

 
 
 Posted:   Jun 28, 2007 - 10:19 AM   
 By:   Oblicno   (Member)

MacArthur - Dudley Moore stars as renowned military leader Douglas MacArthur - who wants nothing more than all-out nuclear H-atom warfare with the waking giant of Communist China - and a couple of drinks with some hot ladies. Co-stars Peter Cook as Harry S. Truman, the butler who secretly pulls the strings.

 
 Posted:   Jun 28, 2007 - 11:50 AM   
 By:   Max Bellochio   (Member)

THE RHINOS HAVE DARK EYES (1997)
Coming-of-age adult drama about three people, born on a leap year, who get over their immaturity toward the opposite sex. Cameron Diaz, Ethan Hawke, Dermut Mulrooney, Jason Alexander.

CATFISH (1996)
Based on the true life story of Jim "Catfish" Hunter, legendary baseball pitcher who succeeded despite his personal battle with diabetes. Chris Cooper, Sissy Spacek, Tim Robbins, Joe Pesci, Laurence Fishburne.

 
 
 Posted:   Jun 28, 2007 - 12:23 PM   
 By:   Oblicno   (Member)

THE LEERDAMMER BUSTERS

Tha Aliies know it, the Axis know it: cheese = morale.

Hence why the Germans need to stop cheese production AT ALL COSTS.

However, paradoxically, they need cheese to cheer up their own people and begin building huge cheese-factories in occupied countries.

Alerted, the RAF devises an ingenious plan to use bouncing prototype giant Baby Bell cheese bombs to take out Nazi cheese factories - history remembers them as THE LEERDAMMERBUSTERS.

William Barnes Wallace, inventor, Scottish Nationalist, and skirt-wearer, wages a one-man war against his own government to get his idea off the ground. Then takes on in the Nazis in the actual war.

SEQUEL: WORLD WAR BRIE

 
 Posted:   Jun 28, 2007 - 12:56 PM   
 By:   Max Bellochio   (Member)

THE LEERDAMMER BUSTERS

Tha Aliies know it, the Axis know it: cheese = morale.

Hence why the Germans need to stop cheese production AT ALL COSTS.

However, paradoxically, they need cheese to cheer up their own people and begin building huge cheese-factories in occupied countries.

Alerted, the RAF devises an ingenious plan to use bouncing prototype giant Baby Bell cheese bombs to take out Nazi cheese factories - history remembers them as THE LEERDAMMERBUSTERS.

William Barnes Wallace, inventor, Scottish Nationalist, and skirt-wearer, wages a one-man war against his own government to get his idea off the ground. Then takes on in the Nazis in the actual war.

SEQUEL: WORLD WAR BRIE


Just think of the marketing possibilities that THE LEERDAMMER BUSTERS has to offer. This is turning into a real "cheesy" movie.

- Cheetos displays in super markets will sport characters from the movie dressed in large cheese wedges

- At movie theatres, popcorn will be replaced by buckets full of cheddar chunks.

MaxB

 
 
 Posted:   Jun 28, 2007 - 2:06 PM   
 By:   Donna   (Member)

John Waters need to be a part of that cheesy movie.

 
 
 Posted:   Jun 28, 2007 - 2:58 PM   
 By:   Oblicno   (Member)

"There are Swiss-cheese sized plot-holes you could drive a Blitzkrieg through." Roger Ebert, on The Leerdammerbusters.

 
 
 Posted:   Jun 28, 2007 - 3:53 PM   
 By:   Oblicno   (Member)

MAGNOGGEDDON!!!!

They've tried to shaft America for years, now they want to SHAFT THE WORLD!



Only a crack team of unfeasibly good looking scientists (American, of course), who are also experts in explosives and close quarters combat can prevent the dirty Commie Reds shafting our shaft and in turn shafting the world!

********************************

It's top secret classified information there's only one Pole on earth. It runs right through the middle from North to South, skewering the Earth like a shish kebab. America has bases at each end where the pole sticks out and guards the poles for the safety of America, and as a consequence, the World.


But on discovering this,evil communists (is there any other kind?) drunk on hatred of freedom (and vodka) are planning to drill into the centre of the earth, find the middle of the Pole and place a big magnet next to it. This will stop the Pole spinning the Earth. Without gravity everything will drop off the earth and drift into space.

No one wants to nail their children to the ground, so the US of A have assembled a crack unit of unfeasibly attractive boffins, who are also experts in explosives, and hand-to-hand combat to deal with the situation.

Commie Plan B is to simply detonate a bomb, breaking the shaft in two, which would result in the deflation of Earth, and most likely result into it spinning off into the Sun, yet again leaving Mars - the RED PLANET - the 'A', number one, big shot planet in the solar system.

This cannot happen!

Europe also has a simliar plan to save the Earth, assembling a crack squad of world-weary ex-soldiers from the British Isles lead by revered gentleman-soldier Sir Bentley Cream-Hampton.

Who will get there first and what will happen? Surely not....

Magnoggeddon!!!!!


TEAM US:

Dirk Benedict - Prof. Dane Spangler
Denise Richards - Dr. Chesty Vermillion
Brad Pitt - Dr. Swede Hammer
Angelina Jolie - Dr. Love Rack
Steven Seagal - Dr. Clancy Manjammer
George Clooney - Dr. Slip Klaxon
Will Smith - Dr. Lexington Cyclone


UK TEAM

Sir Ian McKellern - Sir Bentley Creme-Hampton
Rupert Everett - Felicity Farqhuar-Smythe III
Tommy Lee Jones - Paddy O'Malley
Rhodni Gilbert - Taffy Lewis
David Bowie - Ginger Jones
Sean Connery - Jock McTavish
Sean Bean - Jack 'Smiffy' Smith

 
 
 Posted:   Jun 28, 2007 - 4:29 PM   
 By:   Oblicno   (Member)

Of Mice and Men and Motors

Based on Of Mice and Men and Motors, the novella by Bruce Springsteen, first published in 1901, which tells the tragic story of George Formby and Leni Riefenstahl, two displaced Anglo-German migrant hamster-wranglers in California, America during the Manic Depression (1929-present).


Scuba-loving geriatric crackpot Leni accidentally kills a mouse whilst trying to pet it with a knife. Then people start getting offed left right and centre. Leni doesn't appear to notice a thing. George becomes suspicious, and Leni takes up photographing stuff in 3D. Eventually George shoots Leni in the head, but Leni doesn't notice and lives for another 137 years before finally dying when her scuba-tank air-supply runs dry.



 
 Posted:   Jun 28, 2007 - 8:11 PM   
 By:   Max Bellochio   (Member)

DOUBLE-FISTED PUMP CHICKS (2002)
An all-girl alternative-punk band crosses paths with a cynical Rabbi to find a missing cantor en route to Denver. Eliza Dushku, Gary Shandling, Bridget Moynihan, Linda Cardellini, William Shatner, Jason Geddrick.

TOKEN RINGS (1999)
A computer guru (Wil Wheaton) must unravel a mystery involving a dead malamute, Lee press-on nails, PF Chang's, and a misunderstood lingere model. William Sadler, Fred Dalton Thompson, Jaime Pressly, Albert Brooks.

GLOOMKE! (2000)
A Polish meat purveyor (Ilya Baskin) holds the key to an interdimensional transporter device that allows him to predict all of the events that occurred in the past. Robin Williams, Pete Postlewaite, Gina Davis, Alan Fudge

HIGHER OFFICE (2004)
The sole survivor of a nuclear holocaust (Leonardo DiCaprio) wins a bid for public office against three petrified redwood trees. No Additional Cast. Directed by Leonardo DiCaprio.

 
 
 Posted:   Jun 29, 2007 - 1:17 AM   
 By:   JSWalsh   (Member)

WOODY ALLEN'S TRANSFORMERS (2007)

Giant robots that can transform into famous New York landmarks of the 1930's infest a New York writer's weekend retreat and kvetch. Score by a bunch of guys whose records Allen's mom listened to when she was a teenager.

MICHAEL BAY'S INTERIORS (2007)

Director Bay looks back on his goyish family history. Long (2 second) takes and soaring music accompany Bay's youthful exploits having his books dumped and collecting Star Trek memorabilia. Every twenty minutes his mom, grandpa, or hot cousin Bambi strap on a machinegun and the screen explodes in an orgy of high-tech slaughter. Score by the Zimmermatic(c).

 
 
 Posted:   Jun 30, 2007 - 12:37 PM   
 By:   Oblicno   (Member)

Of Mice and Men and Motors has undergone studio interference. It's now titled:

Of Reich and Men

Telling the tragic story of George Formby and Leni Riefenstahl, two displaced Anglo-German migrant window-cleaners in California, America during the Manic Depression (1929-present).

and will be released in 2098.

 
 Posted:   Jun 30, 2007 - 12:54 PM   
 By:   Max Bellochio   (Member)

ALAN FIVEHOUSE (1979)
Directed by John Frankenheimer. While investigating a local murder, Scotland Yard Inspector Alan Fivehouse (Michael Lonsdale) teams up with an American reporter (James Franciscus) to uncover a much larger plot to blow up Parliament during a crucial vote. Peter Cushing, Nigel Hawthorne, Olivia Hussey, Alan Badel

 
 Posted:   Jun 30, 2007 - 12:57 PM   
 By:   Max Bellochio   (Member)

"Glengarry Glen Ross Glenfiddich Fuck You".

Alec Baldwin returns as the hard-ass salesman with brass balls and a $40,000 Rolex in a new one-man show written by David Mamet. An instant classic featuring Baldwin working his way through a bottle of real malt scotch while alternately threatening his daughter down a mobile phone and practising his presidential acceptance speech.


The title alone is worth the price of admission.

smile

MaxB

 
 
 Posted:   Jun 30, 2007 - 1:08 PM   
 By:   Oblicno   (Member)

Hawaii 4.0

John McClane has a holiday with his daughter and son away from all that terrorist madness, but has to team up with local cop Steve McGarret and Danny 'Danno' Williams, when yet again he is in 'the wrong place at the wrong time', finding his room is double-booked at his hotel with none other than the sister-in-law of Hans Gruber's dog's owner's uncle's mother's son...

It's all out revenge as the Germans lay down their towels, and their intentions early-doors, and make McClane's life a living heck.

'Yippee-ki-yay, motherf***er.'

'Yeah, uh, just book him, Danno - murder one.'


 
 Posted:   Jun 30, 2007 - 1:32 PM   
 By:   Max Bellochio   (Member)

"There are Swiss-cheese sized plot-holes you could drive a Blitzkrieg through." Roger Ebert, on The Leerdammerbusters.

LOLOLOL! smile)


"The cheese factor is extremely high here folks." - Jeffrey Lyons

 
 Posted:   Jun 30, 2007 - 1:38 PM   
 By:   Max Bellochio   (Member)

Hawaii 4.0

John McClane has a holiday with his daughter and son away from all that terrorist madness, but has to team up with local cop Steve McGarret and Danny 'Danno' Williams, when yet again he is in 'the wrong place at the wrong time', finding his room is double-booked at his hotel with none other than the sister-in-law of Hans Gruber's dog's owner's uncle's mother's son...

It's all out revenge as the Germans lay down their towels, and their intentions early-doors, and make McClane's life a living heck.

'Yippee-ki-yay, motherf***er.'

'Yeah, uh, just book him, Danno - murder one.'




By the way, I don't know how well you are familiar with American TV, but there was a bad episode of SANFORD AND SON (Red Foxx) back in 1970's where Fred and Lamont take a vacation to HAWAII. There's some cheesy subplot that draws kooky tie-ins to HAWAII FIVE-O. I always cringed when I watched this episode.

Apparently, networks get this brilliant idea from time-to-time to "tie together" different shows (like CROSSING JORDAN on LAS VEGAS) or something stupid like that. I guess it's an effort to create buzz and boost ratings, but your guess is a s good as mine.

Cheers!

MaxB

NP: The Best of Lawrence Welk and Zamfir.

 
 
 Posted:   Jun 30, 2007 - 2:18 PM   
 By:   Oblicno   (Member)

I only heard of Hawaii Five-O and not the other shows you mention. Cross-over character stuff would be interesting in some shows if done right. I'm sure you will come up with a few ideas!

 
 Posted:   Jun 30, 2007 - 11:05 PM   
 By:   Max Bellochio   (Member)

CRY WOLF, RUN SCARED! (1977)
Legendary private eyes Frank Cannon (William Conrad) and Barnaby Jones (Buddy Epsen) take on a powerful syndicate boss (Tony LoBianco) when evidence of police corruption causes the death of a respected client. Lee Merriwhether, Strother Martin, Cameron Mitchell, Robert Weber, Bonnie Bedelia.

 
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