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 Posted:   Oct 11, 2018 - 6:03 PM   
 By:   edwzoomom   (Member)

Dp

 
 Posted:   Oct 12, 2018 - 5:24 AM   
 By:   jackfu   (Member)

Welcome back, Poet Jackfu.

Joan, thank you; and it's good to have you back again as well!

smile

 
 
 Posted:   Oct 12, 2018 - 6:05 AM   
 By:   joan hue   (Member)

Thank you, Jackfu and Edw.

Edw, it takes both of us to keep those Brit Boys in line. I should travel less often and not leave you alone to handle those guys. It is a two women problem. (problems.) Perhaps I should let the moderator know next time you or I leave so that he can monitor them closely and WHOMP on them now and then. wink

 
 Posted:   Oct 12, 2018 - 7:36 AM   
 By:   Bill Carson, Earl of Poncey   (Member)

Yeah joanie im a two-woman man and you better believe it, baby!! big grin

 
 Posted:   Oct 12, 2018 - 9:02 AM   
 By:   edwzoomom   (Member)

Yeah joanie im a two-woman man and you better believe it, baby!! big grin


Whomp whomp whomp!

 
 Posted:   Oct 12, 2018 - 9:03 AM   
 By:   edwzoomom   (Member)

Thank you, Jackfu and Edw.

Edw, it takes both of us to keep those Brit Boys in line. I should travel less often and not leave you alone to handle those guys. It is a two women problem. (problems.) Perhaps I should let the moderator know next time you or I leave so that he can monitor them closely and WHOMP on them now and then. wink



joan, a daily whomp is a necessity I see.

 
 Posted:   Oct 12, 2018 - 9:25 AM   
 By:   Bill Carson, Earl of Poncey   (Member)

Ok, so what exactly is a whomp?
Is that, like, kicking ass?

 
 Posted:   Oct 18, 2018 - 10:16 AM   
 By:   jackfu   (Member)

A lunchtime Blue Plate Special

Sorry it's gross but here is The Sound Of F*rting - To the tune of The Sounds Of Silence (Simon)

Here's a karaoke video courtesy RLukra Karaoke TV for musical reference:


The Sound Of F*rting

Hello flatulence, my friend
You’ve come to visit me again.
I ate some pasta and some pinto beans
I think I’ve burned a hole in my blue jeans
And the odor that now permeates my chair
And my hair
Followed the sound of f*rting

Sometimes the food that I ingest
Can cause my bowels to divest
Noxious clouds of Sulfur dioxide
It’s no use to try to run and hide
I can’t help it, it’s my diet that’s to blame
Oh, the shame
After the sound of f*rting

One time many years ago
Upon my wife I played a joke
Let one go and clamped the bed sheets tight
She got in and really got a fright
Then she punched me right where it really hurts
In the nurts
After the sound of f*rting

Guys at work, now they all know
If to the Men’s room stall I go
That they had better be soon a-leaving
For the wallpaper it will be peeling
They say “D*mn son, what the hell did you just eat
Then retreat
After the sound of f*rting

Sometimes just for grins I try
To see if I can drag one by
A group of people gathered in the mall
I like to try and just crop dust them all
Then I turn and watch their faces change
See whom they blame
After the sound of f*rting

 
 
 Posted:   Oct 18, 2018 - 2:11 PM   
 By:   joan hue   (Member)

Your wife sounds like my kind of lady.


Kind of gross, but I admit it was funny. I like the verb "crop dust." Very creative.

(Not sure I want to meet you in real life.wink)

 
 Posted:   Oct 19, 2018 - 5:17 AM   
 By:   jackfu   (Member)

Your wife sounds like my kind of lady.


Kind of gross, but I admit it was funny. I like the verb "crop dust." Very creative.

(Not sure I want to meet you in real life.wink)


Thanks, Joan! You'd love me if you met me, really! Just don't hug me too hard!

smile

 
 Posted:   Oct 30, 2018 - 11:09 AM   
 By:   DOGBELLE   (Member)

it's back

 
 
 Posted:   Nov 6, 2018 - 5:09 PM   
 By:   joan hue   (Member)

THE DIVORCE

Our children jarred home,
round eyes bleeding.
Their friend’s parents separated,
their child an uncaught Frisbee.
At dinner, a round oak table
set with ironed blue napkins,
crystal and salad forks,
my wife’s eyes, twin hemorrhages,
dissipate at this gathering.
Our children relax.
No cruel words at this oval.
The dailiness of our silence,
their solace,
our scalpel.

Never worry my children.
My steel love uses china,
not disposable paper plates.
I teach everything gold does stay
and camouflages the TV-my lover-
and guestroom-my domicile.
Incessant dreaming and
romance novels-your mother’s sanctuaries,
and both of you,
our purpose and noise.

At times on our annual vacation
I get so lost. I touch her hand.
“Check the map for where we are.”
She slowly unfolds the map,
leaving her Camelot reverie
where Guinevere and Arthur
always love,
and all their little knights
circle an intact
round table.

 
 Posted:   Nov 7, 2018 - 1:13 AM   
 By:   Bill Carson, Earl of Poncey   (Member)

Nuffin like cheering us up first thing in the morning huey!! wink


.." child an uncaught Frisbee." That was an accurate observation. Nice stuff joan

 
 Posted:   Nov 7, 2018 - 7:05 AM   
 By:   jackfu   (Member)

Powerful and moving, thanks Joan!

 
 
 Posted:   Nov 7, 2018 - 7:17 AM   
 By:   joan hue   (Member)

Thank you, Bill and jackfu. I need to compose limericks in order to write about more jolly topics.

 
 Posted:   Nov 7, 2018 - 12:49 PM   
 By:   DOGBELLE   (Member)

Thank you, Bill and jackfu. I need to compose limericks in order to write about more jolly topics.

big thanks.
I had to see my shrink to get over that. (see what good writing can do!!!)

 
 
 Posted:   Nov 7, 2018 - 10:09 PM   
 By:   joan hue   (Member)

I have heard that there are doggie shrinks. Do they help?

 
 Posted:   Nov 7, 2018 - 11:42 PM   
 By:   DOGBELLE   (Member)

I have heard that there are doggie shrinks. Do they help?

no, they don't. I just keep making videos. my paws hurt me all the time, I don't eat as well.

I mean I only bring home so many dog biscuits a month.

 
 
 Posted:   Jan 25, 2019 - 11:17 PM   
 By:   joan hue   (Member)

THIS BUTCHERING

My daughter clutched her
dusty, dark literature text,
dutifully studying poems
for her final exam.
Her assignments were
to memorize two poems daily,
answer five questions at
the end of each poem,
and correctly spell
onomatopoeia and assonance.

“I hate it now, mom. You know, poetry I mean.
It’s ruined now, mom, by that teacher.”

I handed her my newly
purchased lottery tickets
to scratch and shut her door.

I wonder how she’ll know
(she who found metaphors
in tricycles, cakes, candles)

words’ Sistine Chapels
or spoken Fifth Symphonies?
How will she know
(she who chanted in
rhyming couplets before
sentence or paragraphs)

the metrical march of language
or the sounds of silver
wings skimming surfaces
of streams, stems and silence?

And how can I return to her
Poetry’s Soul,
its sustaining use
after this butchering,
this well-planned lesson in child abuse?



(Sorry, not a fun limerick.)

 
 
 Posted:   Jan 25, 2019 - 11:59 PM   
 By:   Tall Guy   (Member)

Joan, your subject matter is far too important for a limerick! Nice work.

 
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