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Is this a male or female friend?
Many experts are of the opinion that in female cases, especially YOUNG cases, there's invariably a dominating mother in the household. Sometimes the mother even lives THROUGH the disorder, and unconsciously keeps it fuelled, almost like a sort of Munchausen's by Proxy scenario, but not deliberate (consiously at any rate). In those cases the girl needs separated from the mum, or some modifying factor to keep this devouring mum at bay. Often the fathers are quite uncommitted and go along with the whole thing. Nobody dares to wade in forcefully and shout 'Clear out: Talitha Cumi... Give her something to eat, and see she eats it!' and put the 'mother' in her place. And in many cases, like Norman Bates (!) the negative 'mother' Medusa outlives her presence and even life, in the psyche of the victim.
With males it's more convoluted, and every case is different. It sometimes looks like a primitive urge to eat in times of trouble, as in caveman days and famine or flight.
It's easy to say, as they always do, that it's all down to self-esteem and control issues. That's true, but it's like saying 'this man's tendency to be a serial killer is due to the availability of kitchen knives'. That's true too, but it doesn't get to the heart of it. So the fashion industry gets the blame.
It's worth mentioning in passing that the term 'eating disorder' is sometimes used as an excuse for old-fashioned gluttony and guilt.
If it's a female, and there IS or WAS a domineering mother, even if she's not in the picture now, then your role, if you take it on, and it's a responsibility, is to represent a sort of active and POSITIVE rather than passive male type. Do try joking her out of it in a MALE humour way, as opposed to just the 'talk it over sensitive mom' way. But the danger is that then you could take on a 'father' transference and she'd become dependent on you. Not great in a relationship.
But get 'professional' help if yer friend hasn't already.
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P.S.
There's a sort of older-fashioned claim that some experts have made, which does hold some water in some cases with the female type of anorexia. A young girl may feel so fearful of adulthood and adolescence (thanks to the over-protective and domineering mother, and no positive dad to balance it out) that she, on some level, wants to regress BEFORE puberty. When girls starve themselves enough, secondary sexual characteristics disappear, as do curves (associated with adulthood) and menstruation stops in starvation. Return to the safe womb, since mummy has told you the world is dangerous.
Who knows how long that desire could last into adulthood?
Also, political correctness will rear it's head at some point. If the positive masculine (no, not the sensitive masculine who's in touch with his soft side, the POSITIVE MASCULINE) is needed in the mix, then some ideologies will see this as sexist, which it most certainly is not.
It's also worth remembering that men too can have devouring inner mother complexes, and with no proper father-role-model, they can stay in that trap of control, long after mother is elsewhere or no more. Again, male initiations aren't politically kosher nowadays, and no wonder with so much macho nonsense everywhere in the media. But that's what guys need, a Round Table they can be knights at. It just isn't there in modern living.
Attack away, people ...
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