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After a while you'll know who to ignore. Some people are of an unstable disposition, not much can be done about it.
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Posted: |
Apr 20, 2016 - 11:55 AM
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By: |
joan hue
(Member)
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Hi EDW. I agree. It got so bad a few years ago that I posted a topic comparing our board members to the island in Lord of the flies. (Just type Lord of the Flies into the search engine to see responses.) Below is what I first wrote in the above topic. Ironically, people supported the analogy and then some bickered. Arrgh! People just get nasty and argue on and on without ever giving in at least a bit to show that they understand other arguments. Having people rigidly entrenched in one point of view eventually leads to anger. About all you can do is use your “ignore” button if you get too frustrated because it seems impossible for severely negative or contentious people to change. After the mayhem I've been reading here for the past weeks, I've decided to point out an interesting analogy between the narrative in Golding's novel Lord Of The Flies and the Internet. I think most of you have read this novel. If you don't want to know the story, don't read this. Golding's thesis was that the, "Defects in society or civilization could be traced back to the inherent defects in the individual". To demonstrate his theme, he has a group of proper British school boys on an airplane crash on an island. All adults are killed in the crash leaving only the boys. These boys were being evacuated because World War III was beginning. At first, the boys try to do the right things like building shelters, starting a rescue fire, and finding food and water. In order to have order, they use a conch shell to gather and to signal the right to speak. This shell is a symbol of civilized order, kind of like a judge's gavel. Power struggles ensue, kids begin to align with different leaders, order collapses, and eventually savagery emerges. The story demonstrates that if we take people away from the constraints of police, parents, and laws, the facade of civilization crumbles. Ironically, however, even with constraints, countries are "nuking" each other in WWIII. Golding, by chapter 5, has certain human characteristics emerge in five characters. These five almost become caricatures of certain facets of human behavior. Ralph is the pragmatist, pushing for rescue and orderliness, but he demands work from kids who want to play. His antithesis is Jack, the savage hedonist, who wants to hunt and lure others from Ralph's leadership. Quiet Roger is your sadist who likes to, "sharpen the stick at both ends," for a pig's head or a human head. Piggy, a fat kid with glasses, is your rationalist. He reminds me of Mr. Spock in Star Trek. Everything must be rational and logical. One of his lenses is smashed, so he is half-blind, just as he is blind to human irrational behavior. Finally, there is Simon, a very quiet, shy epileptic child blessed (or cursed) with intuitive insight and who recognizes that the "beastie" scaring the boys is their own innate savage nature. He is Piggy's antithesis when it comes to reasoning. Simon: "Maybe the beast is us." Piggy: "Bullocks!" Ralph: "Piggy, is there really a beast?" Piggy: "Of course not cuz TVs and houses wouldn't work." Jack:: "Kill the beast, cut its throat; shove it right up the arse." As savagery and fear overtake the boys, ALL of them attack Simon one night when he tries to tell them that the beast on the mountain is really a dead, decaying parachutist, the tragic gift from the adult world that is suppose to save them. "Teeth and claws" tear Simon, the seer, apart, and even Ralph and Piggy participate in this ripping, although they try to deny it the next day. Such acknowledgment of such irrational behavior could never be accepted by the rational Piggy. Roger, who once threw stones at Piggy, levered a boulder at him near the end, while Piggy, now blind, keeps saying he should talk because he has the conch. Of course, the conch is also smashed, order or civilization is erased, the boys begin to hunt Ralph, and Roger has, "sharpened the stick at both ends," for Ralph's head. The island is set on fire, and right before Ralph is captured, the Navy ship shows up. Ironically, the Navy Captain thinks the boys are having fun. He is in his uniform, and his ship is armed and on a hunting mission. The boys' uniforms are made of mud and war paint and their weapons are spears. The ending shows that the boys are rescued by a war ship but asks who will rescue the adults? It was often predicted during the time that this book was written that a third world nuclear war would be the end of the world. I guess my point in writing about this novel is that maybe in a way, the INTERNET places us on an island of our own (or with a small group of friends) sans civilized constraints. These past few weeks haven't shown much civilization in our behaviors at this board. No real laws, police, or parents shape our behaviors. Yes, we do have board rules here that are too often ignored, and we have Lukas and Joe, who valiantly try to remind us that some of us are acting like "beasties," but they both must get tired of the REDUNDANCY of their messages. What I really miss are our Simons, gentle, intelligent folk who tire of written pigs' heads being placed on sticks, and so they leave us. Some of us old timers on this board probably remember Dutch, a gentle, amazingly insightful gentleman who left several years because there was too much bile and too much spilled blood. Oh well, I don't expect any answers to this post. Just wanted some of you to think about the analogy between the Internet and Lord Of The Flies and hope that what few kind Simons are still here or who may eventually arrive, all wide-eyed and innocent, will stick around to provide us with musical insights and forgive us our "defects."
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Posted: |
Apr 20, 2016 - 3:09 PM
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By: |
MikeP
(Member)
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Some people just aren't happy unless they're crapping on someone's rainbow. They just aren't. I don't get it either. And heaven forbid you ever ask someone "why?", they come back with the usual " oh, so we can't be critical, we can only be positive all the time ?" There's a difference between offering a different opinion, point of view, and just being an ass. If a thread doesn't interest me, most times, not every time, but usually, I'll ignore it. I don't have this need to just barge in and ( pardon me ) piss all over the topic but just offering the same old " I hate this, it sucks". But, some do it every single time to the same themed topics. Or, let's use the example of a nice thread you had started about the terminally ill man who wanted to see The Force Awakens before he died. A nice, ultimately upbeat story. But, a few of the usual suspects actually asked how dare we even discuss this when people are dying everywhere, every day, terrorist attacks, famine, etc. Annnnd then one of them later started a nice thread with an upbeat story about a kitty cat. Go figure. Some people do need to chill. Or, get slapped in the face with a sock full of horse manure
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Posted: |
Apr 20, 2016 - 6:45 PM
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By: |
edwzoomom
(Member)
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Some people just aren't happy unless they're crapping on someone's rainbow. They just aren't. I don't get it either. And heaven forbid you ever ask someone "why?", they come back with the usual " oh, so we can't be critical, we can only be positive all the time ?" There's a difference between offering a different opinion, point of view, and just being an ass. If a thread doesn't interest me, most times, not every time, but usually, I'll ignore it. I don't have this need to just barge in and ( pardon me ) piss all over the topic but just offering the same old " I hate this, it sucks". But, some do it every single time to the same themed topics. Or, let's use the example of a nice thread you had started about the terminally ill man who wanted to see The Force Awakens before he died. A nice, ultimately upbeat story. But, a few of the usual suspects actually asked how dare we even discuss this when people are dying everywhere, every day, terrorist attacks, famine, etc. Annnnd then one of them later started a nice thread with an upbeat story about a kitty cat. Go figure. Some people do need to chill. Or, get slapped in the face with a sock full of horse manure
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Posted: |
Apr 21, 2016 - 4:29 AM
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By: |
DeputyRiley
(Member)
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I suppose this is as good a time and place as any to mention that I've stopped posting at the FSM message boards. I'm not making a fanfare about it or trying to call much attention to it, only bringing it up in relevance to the conversation at hand. I still occasionally visit the site and read some threads, but I've reached my limit with this message board as a whole. It's not even really the message board -- a lot of it is me. I admit it: I have a thin skin, I have a low tolerance for negativity, I am easily susceptible to bad energy affecting my own mood. It's a part of who I am, I wouldn't say it's a weakness necessarily, it's just part of my personality. I'm a sensitive guy and the harsh negativity of the world usually overwhelms me. On the internet, I simply can't be around the rampant negativity that lurks in certain corners, and I've found that wherever people can chime in at random and in droves more often than not so quickly leads to negativity. If I choose to look at comments left on any given story on a yahoo news page, they so quickly devolve into negativity. If I choose to look at comments left on any given story on any news page in general, they so quickly devolve into negativity. If I choose to look at comments left on IMDb, pretty quickly they devolve into negativity. Generally if I read something of interest online and then read comments left by the public, I am just saddened and abrasively irritated by the negativity that often follows. I have to avoid it. I guess it's human nature, but I don't have to like it. FSM does have good and decent people who are most definitely hanging out in this thread, but this site has too many negative people that take the negativity too far, and I've reached my limit of tolerance. It's a shame. I've put a ton of people on my ignore list, but that only does so much. So I've just stopped posting and participating. I don't expect people to change their behavior, and I know I'm too sensitive for the rampant negative behavior that is so often on display on this site, so I need to avoid it; life is too short.
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Posted: |
Apr 21, 2016 - 5:20 PM
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By: |
joan hue
(Member)
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DR, I wish you would continue here with posting, analysis, and comments. However, I do understand your feelings, and you need to first of all take care of yourself. Do what is best for you. I too get frustrated with some of the members' negativity, pessimism, down right rudeness, and sometimes really vulgar comments. Haven't put anyone on "ignore" yet, but I may someday. I just think good people and positive people need to stick around. That doesn't mean I have to like every score because I don't and will say if I don't care for a score, but opinions can be expressed without slicing another's throat. People also don't have to be put down or bullied for loving certain scores and composers. It is cyber-bullying. I just want the white hats and people of light to be the majority and push back on the Darth Vaders of the world, but sometimes I do wonder who the majority is around here.
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Posted: |
Apr 21, 2016 - 5:44 PM
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By: |
edwzoomom
(Member)
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I suppose this is as good a time and place as any to mention that I've stopped posting at the FSM message boards. I'm not making a fanfare about it or trying to call much attention to it, only bringing it up in relevance to the conversation at hand. I still occasionally visit the site and read some threads, but I've reached my limit with this message board as a whole. It's not even really the message board -- a lot of it is me. I admit it: I have a thin skin, I have a low tolerance for negativity, I am easily susceptible to bad energy affecting my own mood. It's a part of who I am, I wouldn't say it's a weakness necessarily, it's just part of my personality. I'm a sensitive guy and the harsh negativity of the world usually overwhelms me. On the internet, I simply can't be around the rampant negativity that lurks in certain corners, and I've found that wherever people can chime in at random and in droves more often than not so quickly leads to negativity. If I choose to look at comments left on any given story on a yahoo news page, they so quickly devolve into negativity. If I choose to look at comments left on any given story on any news page in general, they so quickly devolve into negativity. If I choose to look at comments left on IMDb, pretty quickly they devolve into negativity. Generally if I read something of interest online and then read comments left by the public, I am just saddened and abrasively irritated by the negativity that often follows. I have to avoid it. I guess it's human nature, but I don't have to like it. FSM does have good and decent people who are most definitely hanging out in this thread, but this site has too many negative people that take the negativity too far, and I've reached my limit of tolerance. It's a shame. I've put a ton of people on my ignore list, but that only does so much. So I've just stopped posting and participating. I don't expect people to change their behavior, and I know I'm too sensitive for the rampant negative behavior that is so often on display on this site, so I need to avoid it; life is too short. Deputy, your post saddened me and angered me at the same time. The sadness is for you and the fact that you no longer want to be a part of FSM. The anger is for the deterioration of civility in this world. The latter has reached an all time high, not only in my homeland but everywhere. However, I want to encourage you to come back here. I had an issue within FSM about 2 years ago and here I remain. In a nutshell, a nasty email was sent to the address within my profile. It was full of inane and false statements about something I was supposed to have posted. I was stunned and upset. It did not ruin my holiday in the least for I would not let a moron do that to me. However, I was on the verge of leaving FSM but decided against it after receiving wonderful words of encouragement from many wonderful folks here. I also wasn't going to let one foolish and immature person have the final say. As it turned out, I responded in a calm way and pointed out that I was NOT the one who made the supposed comments. I had verified this by sending the email to another member who is a dear friend. This dear friend confirmed that I had never even come close to saying anything even relative to the rambling missive I received. After I sent my response, I got a terse apology that screamed insincerity. I hadn't expected even that. I decided against ignoring this member who still actively posts often. I couldn't be bothered. Bullies never win with me. Further, I left my email address in my profile. Again, bullies never have the last word with me. I have learned that this board is full of kind, generous, funny, quirky and passionate people. The board has its share of folks who seem to have a bad day more often than others. However, these folks also pop up on the sunny side at times too. We have our joan hue who to me represents the best of all of us. I could list 50 names here of people I have interacted with on this board who represent what is so good about it. This is where I have to focus. I started this thread because I got frustrated with a snarky response. My thin skin exposes itself once in awhile but I usually keep it covered. The virtual world outside this board sucks, I agree with that. However, I will share a saying I was taught as a child and have passed on to my children: "Beauty is not in the face; beauty is a light in the heart." Kahlil Gibran The truly ugly comments found out there come from a dark place , a darkness in the heart. Deputy, please come back.
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