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Posted: |
Jul 19, 2011 - 7:30 AM
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By: |
LeHah
(Member)
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This past weekend I watched two movies: the 1979 TV movie Disaster On The Coastliner and The Last Airbender. The first involved Lloyd Bridges, Raymond Burr, Pat Hingle and William Shatner entering the film like this... (The above picture is now my Facebook picture. If you have to ask why, don't!) It was one of those amazingly awful, awful, awful TV movies that they just don't make anymore. Every moment was an unintentional laugh-a-minute, especially Shatner who goes so far out of his way to ham-it-up by not-hamming-it-up. Shatner: Ciggarette? Yvette Mimieux : No, thank you. I quit smoking. Shatner: Well thats good, because I don't have any cigarettes. Yvette Mimieux : Well, then, why did you ask me if I smoked? (Shatner takes out pack of cigarettes and lights one up) That scene alone blew my mind. I'm still reeling three days later. If you want a pee-yourself-funny-why-am-I-watching-this movie - its on Netflix instant. You'll thank me later. But Last Airbender? I've seen some dreck at the movie theater - I threw a half-full cup of Sprite at the movie screen when the end credits rolled for X-Men - but this was magnificent in how godlessly dreadful it was. Lovecraft in his darkest nightmares couldn't begin to surmise a terror this horrible. It was like someone removing your fingernails with a butter knife and then pouring gasoline into your eyes to keep you awake. It's flat out one of the worst movies I've ever seen in any fashion: constant exposition, badly handled stunts, characters without any depth and basically a bodies that spoke badly to provide a story without a plot. By the time the big fight happened at the end, James Newton Howard's good score was long past forgotten, my mind glazed like a donut, the more animal recesses that crawled back into the human mind countless millenia ago started to tendril their way forward with a "fight or flight" response... and then it was over. I may never be the same again.
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Still a great score.
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