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 Posted:   Nov 29, 2011 - 7:42 PM   
 By:   dan the man   (Member)

There was no responses on keeping the daily birthday thread going, so i will laid it to rest in the coffin, but humor is another story, from a booklet i put out on funny lines from film titles , enjoy and maybe you will get a chuckle or two, others have.------------------------------------------------------------------------------World without end-56- Conflict of interest.-------------------------------------------------------------------Dracula Vs Frankenstein-71- get real, Drac in one round.-----------------------------------------------------Corridors of mirrors-47-The house of the man , Carly Simon based her hit song on, Your so vain.----------The dead don't die-75That might be comforting, now if we can only find a way the living won't.-------------Blood of ghastly horror-65- What does that title mean?-----------------------------------------------------Torture garden-67- Did you ever get bored at the botonical gardens?----------------------------------------DR Who and the Daleks-65- Did they ever find out who the doctor was?------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------more to come.

 
 
 Posted:   Nov 29, 2011 - 10:33 PM   
 By:   dan the man   (Member)

Spaced out-81- Earth in----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Four sided triangle-53- Scientist on crack.---------------------------------------------------------------------End of the world-77-They canceled As the world turns.-------------------------------------------------------The land before time-88- The place God was hanging out when it started to get boring.---------------------Batteries not included-87-The 3 words that gets thousands of fathers out on December 26th looking for Duracell.

 
 
 Posted:   Nov 30, 2011 - 10:24 AM   
 By:   dan the man   (Member)

THE NIGHT WALKER-64- Most animals in the world.-------------------------------------------------------------SO SAD ABOUT GLORIA-75-She lost her wisdom tooth.-----------------------------------------------------THIS ISLAND EARTH-55- Hell of a big island , isn't it.-----------------------------------------------------------THE MOST DANGEROUS GAME-32-1-Playing old maid with your niece-2-Trying to get a seat during rush hour on the New York city subway.-3-Trying to get a ball of wool from a kitten.------------------------------CITY OF THE WALKING DEAD-82-The town senior citizens in New York move to in Florida.------------------THE DAY THE EARTH STOOD STILL-51-When God's batteries ran out.

 
 
 Posted:   Nov 30, 2011 - 8:37 PM   
 By:   dan the man   (Member)

WAR OF THE WORLDS-53-will continue after this message from Stars, inc------------------------------------FRANKENSTEIN-32- actually this classic came about when Helen Frank married Henry Stein.---------------PHANTOM OF THE OPERA-26-43-62-89-05- ETC ETC-Better known as the guy whose cell phone went off during the climatic scene at Lincoin center in New York the other night.----------------------------------------ISLAND OF LOST SOULS-33-The island where rejected broken hearted lovers get off the love boat.--------BILLY THE KID VS DRACULA-66-Billy's gun better shoot out holy water or he is up shit's creek.

 
 Posted:   Nov 30, 2011 - 8:48 PM   
 By:   Josh Mitchell   (Member)

Dude, you're killing me.

Keep 'em coming.

 
 
 Posted:   Dec 1, 2011 - 5:23 PM   
 By:   dan the man   (Member)

WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH HELEN-71-She lost Troy and it's the bad time of the month----------------------DRAGONFLY-02-the sky is going to be very crowded if they do.----------------------------------------------LITTLE GIRL WHO LIVED DOWN THE LANE-77-Went on to marry Jack the ripper JR.-------------------------RESIDENT EVIL-02-Your mother in law is moving in for 6 months.--------------------------------------------THE 4D MAN-59-As a young kid drove the other kids crazy playing hide and seek.

 
 
 Posted:   Dec 2, 2011 - 6:33 PM   
 By:   dan the man   (Member)

THE MAD GHOUL-43-Hare's cousin in crime.---------------------------------------------------------------------THE LOVE BUG-69-Cockaroaches running a dating service for lonely ants and bees.-------------------------THE MAN WHO FELL TO EARTH-76-88-astronaut on the toilet by mistake pulls the eject button instead of the flush button.--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------THE MAN WITH NINE LIVES-40-President of Purina cat food.-----------------------------------------------THE MAZE-53- Ever look at the map of Boston?--------------------------------------------------------------ESCAPE FROM L.A-All English speaking people.----------------------------------------------------------------

 
 
 Posted:   Dec 3, 2011 - 5:49 PM   
 By:   dan the man   (Member)

THE AMAZING COLOSSAL MAN-57- Typical egotistic politician.-------------------------------------------------HOUSE OF THE DEAD-80-Many people's households on New Year's morning.---------------------------------THE SCHOOL THAT COULDN'T SCREAM-77-They removed the vocal cords from all of the students.-------THE MONSTER MAKER-44-All from Hasbro for $19.99--------------------------------------------------------DEATH RACE 2000-75- The Auto Bahn 24/7------------------------------------------------------------------THE CARS THAT ATE PEOPLE-75-Ford's crazy cousin screwed up again.--------------------------------------KING KONG-33- 76- O5- A new Chinese diner down the block.------------------------------------------------BLAST FROM THE PAST-99-A nice way of explaining a state of vomiting.

 
 
 Posted:   Dec 3, 2011 - 8:49 PM   
 By:   dan the man   (Member)

To Josh-glad you are enjoying these original jokes,, i am keeping out the one's that are political, i wish i didn't have to, because i think they are some of the best ones.

 
 
 Posted:   Dec 5, 2011 - 10:24 AM   
 By:   dan the man   (Member)

CARNIVAL OF BLOOD-71-They have a red cross convention there.---------------------------------------------EMPIRE OF THE ANTS-77- That is in everyone's backyard, Is it not?--------------------------------------------THE HOUSE THAT SCREAMED=70-Thanksgiving day at Uncle Leo's house.------------------------------------YONGARY MONSTER FROM THE DEEP-66- the blue fish special, please.-------------------------------------ASTRO ZOMBIES-69-Some years Houston fans would agree.

 
 
 Posted:   Dec 6, 2011 - 6:46 AM   
 By:   dan the man   (Member)

UNCLE WAS A VAMPIRE-61-Yes and my aunt was a witch.-----------------------------------------------------ATTACK OF THE GIANT LEECHES-58-My over 6 feet ex- girlfriends.-------------------------------------------EEGAH-62-My reaction after eating that week old Moo, Goo, Gai, Pan in the refrigerator this morning..-----------------VAMPIRE AND THE BALLERINA-62- performances only at night.--------------------------------------ASTRONAUT'S WIFE-99-She sees stars when they make love.---------------------------------------------SILENT RUNNING-72-Here's a track meet where the runner's feet don't touch the ground.

 
 
 Posted:   Dec 6, 2011 - 7:31 PM   
 By:   dan the man   (Member)

FROM EAR TO EAR-71-Is your head.----------------------------------------------------------------------------THE THIRSTY DEAD-75-I would imagine so in that tight coffin.-------------------------------------------------HOW TO MAKE A MONSTER-58-Many parent's who were on the Jerry Springer show sadly learned all about that.--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------THE BIRDS-63- Some people told Hitch-that's who the movie was for.----------------------------------------LAND THAT TIME FORGOT-75- Detroit.---------------------------------------------------------------------------YOG, MONSTER FROM SPACE-70-Goy to you too.

 
 
 Posted:   Dec 7, 2011 - 9:07 PM   
 By:   dan the man   (Member)

FRANKENSTEIN CREATED WOMAN-67- wouldn't you?------------------------------------------------------------SKY ABOVE HEAVEN-65-Is that where God's castle is?-------------------------------------------------------TRICK OR TREAT-83-What you get when you vote on election day.-----------------------------------------THE LOST WORLD-25-60- ETC-How can you lose something that big?--------------------------------------------12 TO THE MOON-60-48 to Mars.---------------------------------------------------------------------------NAIL GUN MASSACRE-89-I told you your nephew Mario was not up to being a construction worker.

 
 
 Posted:   Dec 8, 2011 - 6:39 PM   
 By:   dan the man   (Member)

ALTERED STATES-80-The day my tie got stuck in the washing machine, unfortunately i was wearing it at the time.-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------MARS NEED WOMEN-64- They are horny there too.---------------------------------------------------------MANSION OF THE DOOMED-76-the impotent man visiting Hugh Hefner's Playboy mansion.-------------------------FOOD OF THE GODS-76- Yes, please order me that cloud in heaven on rye.---------------------------FACE OF TERROR- 62- Did you ever wake up in the morning, look in the mirror and found out your going bald?--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------DOOR WITH 7 LOCKS-63- typical home security in the urban cities of America.

 
 
 Posted:   Dec 8, 2011 - 8:13 PM   
 By:   dan the man   (Member)

You know my Ex- Girlfriend who lived in a bad part of town in Chicago, has so many locks on her door, by the time she unlocks them, it does not pay for her to go out anymore[ha ha , joke]

 
 
 Posted:   Dec 9, 2011 - 8:26 PM   
 By:   dan the man   (Member)

THE NEANDERTHAL MAN-53-i see plenty of them on the subway during rush hour.---------------------------------PANIC IN YEAR ZERO-62-God forgot the formula on how to get the universe create-------------------BELL BOOK AND CANDLE-58-what they have in hotels during blackouts.-------------------------------------COMA-78-The state you might be in after watching the film.--------------------------------------------------DR BUTCHER M.D--82-He's really a hack.----------------------------------------------------------------------QUEEN OF OUTER SPACE-58- So Diana went there too.

 
 
 Posted:   Dec 10, 2011 - 5:07 PM   
 By:   dan the man   (Member)

THE MUMMY-32-59-99-He always get's all wrapped up in these destructive conflicts.--------------------------THE SIXTH SENSE-99- Some people don't even have one.---------------------------------------------THE 13TH WARRIOR-Never fought under a ladder.------------------------------------------------------------STAR WARS-77-Those tiny little cute innocent things in the night sky, no way.-----------------------------------THE MATRIX-hey MA, i want some TRIX.

 
 
 Posted:   Dec 11, 2011 - 6:50 PM   
 By:   dan the man   (Member)

SCHIZIO-77- Another day at the factory.THE OTHERS-02-Are always the guilty party.THE GRIM REAPER-82- There's a 24 hour job.NIGHT OF THE LEPUS-72- Easter bunnies go beserk.THE BAT PEOPLE-74- No wonder why the airlines are going broke.IT CAME FROM HOLLYWOOD-72- Californian's coming ashore off Japan, after a earthquake sends most of L.a into the pacific ocean.MAMA DRACULA-80-Get band aids for the kids.

 
 
 Posted:   Dec 11, 2011 - 6:56 PM   
 By:   dan the man   (Member)

CORRECTION-IT CAME FROM HOLLYWOOD WAS 82

 
 
 Posted:   Dec 12, 2011 - 6:28 PM   
 By:   dan the man   (Member)

DRACULA HAS RISEN FROM THE GRAVE-68- He always does.------------------------------------------------------I DRINK YOUR BLOOD-71 WITH I EAT YOUR SKIN-[on a double feature]-I leave the theatre.---------------------ATTACK OF THE MUSHROOM PEOPLE-63-The poison ones are really deadly.-------------------------------ATTACK OF THE 50 FOOT WOMAN-58-93-She started the feminist movement----Was going to marry the colossal man, but it didn't work out.------People thought the rain turned yellow when she took a leak-------.Killed ten boyfriends during oral sex.---------------------------------------------------------------------A KNIFE FOR THE LADIES-74-So said the knife thrower at the circus.------------------------------------BLUE SUNSHINE-77-Can't say i ever saw one unless i had one drink too many.

 
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