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So, a fat land whale, pervert, and sexual predator walk into a bar and the bartender says, "What can I get you, Harvey Weins...
Oh, never mind.
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Posted: |
Oct 30, 2018 - 7:19 AM
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By: |
jackfu
(Member)
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A Halloween joke - I stole it from another website:
A couple was invited to a swanky costume party. The Mrs. got a terrible headache and told her husband to go to the party alone.
He being a devoted husband protested, but she argued and said she was going to take some aspirin and go to bed and there was no need for his good time being spoiled by her not going. So he took his costume and away he went.
The wife, after sleeping soundly for about an hour awakened without pain and as it was still early, decided to go the party.
Since her husband did not know what her costume was, she thought she would have some fun by watching her husband to see how he acted when she was not with him.
She joined the party and soon spotted her husband cavorting around on the dance floor, dancing with every nice looking woman he could, and taking a few "liberties" here and a little kiss there.
His wife sidled up to him and being a rather seductive babe herself, he left his current partner high and dry and devoted his time to the new babe that had just arrived. She let him go as far as he wished, naturally, since he was her husband.
Finally, he whispered a little proposition in her ear and she agreed.
So off they went to one of the cars and had a quickie.
Just before unmasking at midnight she slipped away, went home, put the costume away and got into bed, wondering what kind of explanation he would make for his behavior.
She was sitting up reading when he came in, and she asked what kind of a time he had.
He said, "Oh, the same old thing. You know I never have a good time when you're not there."
"Did you dance much?"
“Nah. I'll tell you, I never even danced one dance. When I got there, I met Pete, Bill and some other guys and we went into the den and played poker all evening."
“But you're not going to believe what happened to the guy I loaned my costume to!”
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Irving comes over to visit his friend Seymour.
" Sit my friend" says Seymour.
Irving sits down on the couch.
"So, are you comfortable?", says Seymour.
"I make a living" he replies.
stolen from mel Brooks on "Comedians Drinking Coffee In cars" on NETFLIX
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This morning I went to use my smartphone and it said to me: "And don't call me Shirley!" - I had left it in "Airplane!" mode.
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