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If I were to apply to an online dating site, what would I even write about myself? Where should a terminally shy (probably mildly autistic) 36-year-old even begin to look? I just think any woman's interest would drop off sharply 1.) when she sees the pictures 2.) when she learns I don't own a car and 3.) when she learns I probably have Asperger's (even if I lie about this, she'll probably know something's wrong with me when I spend the first date staring fixedly at my plate).
Before you do anything, it sounds like you really need to talk to a counselor first and foremost. Maybe then he/she can help you build your self esteem up and get you on a better foot for the world. THEN after you are doing much better on so many areas of your life, then work with getting a girl.
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Just keep trying mate. That's all you can do.
You could always try going to a hospital as a patient and hoping a nurse develops Florence Nightingale syndrome.
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Posted: |
Mar 23, 2011 - 10:50 AM
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By: |
scrapsly
(Member)
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I met with a represenative of AANE (Asperger's Association of New England) early last year, but haven't taken any steps beyond that, mainly because I REALLY don't want to be in a room filled with people like me (I sometimes wonder what my behavior seems like to "regular" people, and I'm afraid to actually find out).
I think you should take a step in that direction. And why? You'll LEARN more about yourself, and what makes you YOU! And a problem I'm seeing is that you don't see yourself as "regular" -- and the only thing I can think of when being "regular" is taking more fiber. You are YOU, as I am ME. We are people, we are humans, and we are WE.
Great advice by Ms Mitchell. Find happiness within and be happy who you are and what you already have. Did you notice all the posts about money ? If a person has money, they can get women, but let that same person lose that money and see how long the other person hangs around ? If you want a girlfriend or desire to get married, I am NOT trying to disuade you but take half a day and go to your local court house (it is free) and sit and listen to all the divorces that happen in today's society. 55% of marriages end in divorce in the U.S. these days. I lost my house, I get to see the love of my life (my child) about 25% a year according to the standard order (I live 10 minutes away from my EX who makes more money than I do) and there is a State run agency that gets federal funding that provides FREE legal services IRREGARDLESS of a person's income that will increase your child support payments every three years, but when you get denied your court ordered time with your child you are told time and money are two seperate issuses and you have to go and hire an attorney who just happens to charge by the hour. If you happen to be a hetrosexual who only likes women like me, 86% of women have primary custody of their children so you can live with them and be 75% more involved in their lives than you get to be with your own child. All of that is really not very appealing to me so I have learned to LOVE being single. Dating is ok, but I love being single. Being single is NOT so bad Mr Jack. Find happiness within and be happy with you. Love will find you or it will not. What I am saying is that THE GRASS IS NOT ALWAYS GREENER ON THE OTHER SIDE.
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If I were to apply to an online dating site, what would I even write about myself? Where should a terminally shy (probably mildly autistic) 36-year-old even begin to look? I just think any woman's interest would drop off sharply 1.) when she sees the pictures 2.) when she learns I don't own a car and 3.) when she learns I probably have Asperger's (even if I lie about this, she'll probably know something's wrong with me when I spend the first date staring fixedly at my plate).
Mr. Jack ... here is the question:
(a) You say 'probably mildly autistic', and 'probably have Aspergers'.
(b) You can objectively observe and evaluate your 'fixed stare at the plate'.
Now ... you're not winding people up are you? I mean, even a teenzy-weenzy bit?
So many people are prematurely and falsely diagnosed with Asperger's, it's an industry. You don't come across as one in what you write, though that's not always any indicator. Too self-aware.
Do tell.
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Shower regularly
Dress like you care what you look like
Cultivate some interests that don't involve looking at a screen
Do some interesting things, so you'll have something to talk about
Make friends with a gay man (if you're nice they'll TOTALLY start introducing you to women.)
Go someplace that is not online.
Learn how to listen.
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Kidnap works for me.
Or even joking about it makes them laugh.
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Volunteering for police line ups, regularly, can have results. Not always the right ones but hey ho.
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I’ve tried asking women into my car for long trips and they always decline.
Especially the wife, eh, Solly? 
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