You know what I hate...? Commentary tracks that bleep out profanity. Same thing with gag reels...unless it's a PG-rated kid's movie, there's no reason to bleep out an actor muttering, "Shit...!" when they flub a line. It's not like we don't know what they're saying. All-time stupidest example...the TV series Hannibal, which features some of the most shocking gore ever seen on network television, yet we're not allowed to hear the actors say "Fuck" on the gag reel.
I'll give the gag reel on the PG-13 Scott Pilgrim vs. The World credit for treating the audience like adults and allowing us to hear the actors say things like "Cocksucker".
I think the commentary for Warner's digibook Blu-ray of KING KONG (1933) is quite worthless.
Yes, I seem to recall that being the case. Just two guys fawning over Willis O'Brian's SFX work, without actually telling you anything. I finally turned it off halfway through.
Yeah, some favorite directors, composers, etc give pretty bad commentaries. I don't blame them...it's clear they sometimes just don't know what people want to hear or they really don't want to be there. Most of the bad ones I've blocked out.
I do like Jerry Goldsmith's Hollow Man commentary, just because he had some things to say about his job still being an art, etc. that I enjoyed hearing.
Some of the more "technical ones" are tough to sit through. Others completely fascinating.
Ridley Scott, David Fincher, Quentin Tarantino, James Cameron all usually have pretty insightful commentaries. Paul Verhoeven's are never dull. And then there are the hilarious ones that had me cracking up like Tropic Thunder (probably my favorite), Airplane, Chasing Amy among others.
I recently watched UHF with its commentary and was amused as hell by it, though it's definitely not for everyone. Whenever they show a new location, Weird Al reads off the address. Every single time. He also makes a habit of relentlessly slamming his own performance and talking about the movie's shortcomings. I wish I didn't know that Wendy Carlos would have scored the movie had it not been for its meager budget...
1 - Telling me what is happening on the screen. (Hello, people, this stuff belongs on a descriptive audio track for people with vision problems, not for the rest of us who can already see!)
2 - Telling me the same information over and over. (Again, this belongs on an audio track for people with some other disability.)
3 - Repeating lines that are being said, usually with a sense of awe. (Somebody else already said this line and did it better.)
(I came up with these after listening to the commentary on EL CID, which needed editing and the contribution of others.)
Any other characteristics?
Based on what people have said above, and my recent experience, I'm adding:
4 - Sounding like they're reading everything off a piece of paper.
The commentary on the SUNSET BOULEVARD disc is starting out like this and coming close to putting me to sleep.
The recent OUTER LIMITS bluray. I Yet another in a long line of " IMDB commentaries"... " Let's take a.moment now to talk about[ insert.name of B actor]. His first screen appearance was in...."
Meanwhile, the key scene in the show.goes on with nary a description.
Oh, and ' Dr' Rebbie et.al. read their commentaries.
The Harold Lloyd film KID BROTHER (1927). OMK, they started out okay, but VERY quickly started saying things that were going to happen, things we could see ourselves, like "...and now he's going to open the door and find her inside....."
Aaaaarrrrrrg! This is a Criterion disc! I thought they would be above such things!
On the other hand, Eddie Muller on the Fox film noir series is outstanding, especially on Where the Sidewalk Ends and Fallen Angel. I wish he'd done one for Laura.
Seconded, Mr. Phelps. The commentary on LAURA was a total snooze, done by Jeanne somebody.
Although, I can't say much for the producer of the commentaries on this dvd, since David Raksin's comments got limited to maybe 2 or 3, for a total of less than 5 minutes, fer corn's sake.
I also agree that Eddie Muller is outstanding, and so was Foster Hirsch (DAISY KENYON, FOURTEEN HOURS).
Eddie Muller (Jr.), who was the son of the boxing writer who had a boxing column in the Sports section of The San Francisco Examiner.