What should you say if you spy a man at the park and want to learn if he is "film music curious"?
How about "You know there are times when there's a skunk smell here in the park. But I try to live through it by saying to myself, 'Well, it could be worse. It could have been several skunks that sprayed their scent. Then there would have been more odor.'"
You're at a PTA (Parent-Teacher Association) meeting. You spot one of the other fathers that you recognize, from the local museum screening of old comedy films. You remember that HE showed up ONLY to the ones with scores by a certain composer.
You approach him, and strike up a convo about the kids. But you quickly become gossipy, and admit the following:
"My friend Dorothy and her ex-husband John always disagreed about keeping the bathrooms clean in their house. She wanted him to use only the one bathroom on the first floor, but he sometimes used the one in the basement, because he didn't want to climb the stairs."
And as you say the following, you watch carefully for fluctuation of the pupil/involuntary dilation of the iris:
"It got so whenever he was out of the room, she would mutter to guests, in a peeved voice, 'I wonder which john william's using!'"
Well, once again, you're casing some gent you've seen at the local vintage LP store, someone you THINK you saw looking wistful in the section where soundtracks used to be. He shows up at the local boozer and you strike up a drunken conversation with him, and steer the talk towards:
"You know these companies are getting out of hand, trying to think they're giving us new things, when really, they're not. They give them new names, but really it's all the same thing.
Why just the other day I saw my friend Dorothy's granddaughter playing with her crayons. I looked at them and do you know that they called the colors? Names like "Dangerous White" and "Awkward Orange." Isn't that just plain weird?
Why I even saw one called 'Earnest Gold.' What in the world is THAT supposed to mean??"
"So I'm standing in line at the grocery store and I see this tabloid newspaper. Big headline. It's about that puppet thing, the one that's on all the YouTubes, doing wacky stunts.
And it's about an incident that never made it onto the internet. The puppet thing, Elmer, tries to make toasted marshmallows using a cigarette lighter and toothpicks. His assistant, a 14-year-old girl, is the one, though, who gets injured!