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Posted: |
Oct 30, 2020 - 8:08 AM
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By: |
OnyaBirri
(Member)
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There's some really big untapped markets out there. You would think the Disney, Hallmark and Lifetime would at least release a compilation soundtrack. Say music from their Christmas movies or something. What a great treatment for a Hallmark Christmas movie. A handsome, widowed, gated-community guy in a small town wishes that one of the boutique labels would release a box set of Hallmark Christmas movie soundtracks. Then, a beautiful, single, perky blonde woman blows into town. She is a rep for BSX records, and travels to small towns across red-state America, ensuring that record stores are happy with their BSX product. They meet at the town Christmas social, and all hell breaks loose when the male protagonist accidentally drops his copy of the "Bladerunner" re-recording into the punch bowl. The two engage in cat-and-mouse mating ritual flirtations, but because the female protagonist is constantly on the road as a BSX Records & Tapes rep, there doesn't seem to be a solution. All the while, he is begging her for a box set of Hallmark Christmas movie soundtracks. The male protagonist's magical negro friend convinces the male protagonist to buy her a ring, because that is what women really want. The male protagonist sells his stereo system so that he may buy the female a ring. He sends the ring to BSX headquarters, hoping the rep receives it. But it turns out that the rep had her left hand ring finger chopped off to convince BSX to release a Hallmark Christmas movies CD box set. The final montage shows the handsome guy unwrapping a present on Christmas morning - a Hallmark Christmas Movies CD box set, with bonus tracks, but he sadly has nothing to play it on. This cuts to a scene of the BSX rep opening a velvet box and looking at the ring, but she has no ring finger to put it on. A maudlin Celine Dion ballad plays beneath. I'd love to see this film. Let me know when it airs.
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