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Posted: |
Jul 11, 2006 - 2:22 AM
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By: |
manderley
(Member)
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Joan is right on.
I'm old enough and sentimental enough to believe that there is someone out there for nearly everyone who wants a relationship.
For years and years I was involved in work and travel and put much of my personal life on hold. When I was finally able to settle down, I joined several groups and clubs in my interest ranges, put myself out there (with difficulty---at age 38) and within 2 years had found a partner.
It has now been 24 years of that relationship.
(Of course, I have the looks of a Brad Pitt, the sensitivity of a brain surgeon, the erudition of an encyclopedia, the wisdom of the ages, all wrapped up in the modesty of a newly-minted virgin! How could I fail?  )
Seriously, though......You must take stock, realistically assess yourself without pandering to your negative feelings, get out there and meet people. Even shyness can be a virtue and many are drawn to that as much as others are drawn to aggressive behaviours.
Just do it instead of worrying it to death!
And be very honest in assessing not what you want, but what you need, from the other person. No one is perfect. But, what is fascinating is that when one loves someone else, it is possible to compromise enough to feel that the other person IS perfect.
Good luck in your searches.
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Posted: |
Jul 11, 2006 - 2:45 AM
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By: |
Shatnervana
(Member)
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Especially when one is 32, not very good-looking, still lives at home with mom, has no car, and is painfully shy around attractive women? 
Luckily for men, women aren't generally as hung-up on appearances. Still, if you're willing to wear clean clothing, get a haircut and trim those nosehairs, it's a big help. And if you're socially adept (a skill which, unfortunately, doesn't come naturally to most of us, so you gotta work at it), you'll make connections soon enough...provided you get out there, of course.
Unless your mom is an invalid, move out.
Not having a car isn't such a big deal, especially if you live in a fairly large city. Heck, if you live in a big enough city, like NYC or Chicago, you don't need one at all, so if you're already moving out, why not go there?
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My recommendation is go out and rent a DVD of William Wyler's 1965 film, THE COLLECTOR, to see exactly how it's done.
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Posted: |
Jul 11, 2006 - 1:39 PM
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By: |
dragon53
(Member)
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MR. JACK:
Here in Houston, all you need is a billion dollars (i.e. Anna Nicole Smith).
I enjoy looking at the local newspaper's society pages and see billionaire Fayez Sarofim, very old and very overweight, with his 30's, third wife. Mr. Sarofim was divorced by his 1st wife when she discovered he was sleeping with his office manager. Wife 1 hired Houston's 2 leading divorce lawyers and got mega millions in a divorce settlement. Then Sarofim married his office manager.
Wife 2 (ex-office manager) hired Wife 1's two divorce lawyers after she found out Sarofim was screwing around again. During the divorce trial, Wife 2 began sleeping with one of her two lawyers. After she got big bucks in the divorce settlement, Wife 2 bought one of the lawyers a new Mercedes because she was happy with the settlement.....until she found out her two lawyers got Wife 1 a lot more than they got her. She then sued her two lawyers for malpractice. Later Wife 2 died in a mountain-climbing accident in Tibet.
Then Sarofim's son, also overweight and no Robert Redford, began sleeping with multimillionaire Houston Mayor Bob Lanier's daughter, Courtney. Unfortunately, Sarofim Son's wife was Courtney's best friend since childhood. Son's wife found out that her best friend (now ex-best friend) was sleeping with her husband so she hired the same two lawyers that represented the two ex-wives of her stepfather, Sarofim Sr. After sordid trial documents of admitted cocaine use by the Sarofims in front of their young daughter, Sarofim Jr. settled out of court.
Thus, Courtney Lanier married her ex-best friend's ex-husband, thus uniting two of Houston's wealthiest and sleaziest families. Shortly thereafter, Courtney Lanier Sarofim gave birth to a daughter.
As for the two divorce lawyers, they're licking their chops at the prospect of the infant Sarofim daughter growing up, marrying a Houston billionaire and divorcing him.....
PS....a sincere good luck in finding a girlfriend.
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My brother-in-law, very successful in business, with an enormous home and cars, etc., in his 40's, finally is engaged to someone he met on Match.Com. So, it doesn't just happen to those who still live with mom.
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Posted: |
Jul 12, 2006 - 1:08 AM
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By: |
manderley
(Member)
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.....I make about $200 a week bagging groceries, so there's no way in hell I could afford an apartment.....
Mr. Jack, there are always options when you want something enough.
When I was in college 50 years ago I had a summer job which paid very little---certainly not enough for an apartment, even then---and no car.
So, I took a room, with bath, which I COULD afford, in a nice clean home, presided over by a sweet gray-haired little old lady.
I was happy to be on my own and responsible for myself, I'm sure the lady was happy to have me there at night when she was alone, and nearly every evening when I came back to my room I'd find a plate with a piece of newly baked pie or cake on a nearby shelf.
Though this kind of living arrangement is certainly slimmed down in amenities compared to an apartment, and despite the fact that it all sounds like an old MGM movie with Spring Byington, it was great and a wonderful experience I'll never forget.
You can't ask for more than that.
At 32 you need to get out of the family house and into something else, even if it is only a temporary room.
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)