Film Score Monthly
FSM HOME MESSAGE BOARD FSM CDs FSM ONLINE RESOURCES FUN STUFF ABOUT US  SEARCH FSM   
Search Terms: 
Search Within:   search tips 
You must log in or register to post.
  Go to page:    
 Posted:   Jul 11, 2006 - 1:08 AM   
 By:   Mr. Jack   (Member)

Especially when one is 32, not very good-looking, still lives at home with mom, has no car, and is painfully shy around attractive women? frown

 
 
 Posted:   Jul 11, 2006 - 1:30 AM   
 By:   joan hue   (Member)

I noticed you said "attractive women." Would you go for a lady who is painfully shy and not really good-looking? That is how you have described yourself, and you and shy, average looking women are worthy of companionship. Right? Must they be "attractive?"

Can you make a choice to move out on your own?

Have you tried on-line dating? Clubs? Group socials in your areas? Blind dates through friends?

 
 
 Posted:   Jul 11, 2006 - 2:22 AM   
 By:   manderley   (Member)

Joan is right on.

I'm old enough and sentimental enough to believe that there is someone out there for nearly everyone who wants a relationship.

For years and years I was involved in work and travel and put much of my personal life on hold. When I was finally able to settle down, I joined several groups and clubs in my interest ranges, put myself out there (with difficulty---at age 38) and within 2 years had found a partner.

It has now been 24 years of that relationship.

(Of course, I have the looks of a Brad Pitt, the sensitivity of a brain surgeon, the erudition of an encyclopedia, the wisdom of the ages, all wrapped up in the modesty of a newly-minted virgin! How could I fail? big grin big grin big grin )

Seriously, though......You must take stock, realistically assess yourself without pandering to your negative feelings, get out there and meet people. Even shyness can be a virtue and many are drawn to that as much as others are drawn to aggressive behaviours.

Just do it instead of worrying it to death!

And be very honest in assessing not what you want, but what you need, from the other person. No one is perfect. But, what is fascinating is that when one loves someone else, it is possible to compromise enough to feel that the other person IS perfect.

Good luck in your searches.

 
 
 Posted:   Jul 11, 2006 - 2:45 AM   
 By:   Shatnervana   (Member)

Especially when one is 32, not very good-looking, still lives at home with mom, has no car, and is painfully shy around attractive women? frown

Luckily for men, women aren't generally as hung-up on appearances. Still, if you're willing to wear clean clothing, get a haircut and trim those nosehairs, it's a big help. And if you're socially adept (a skill which, unfortunately, doesn't come naturally to most of us, so you gotta work at it), you'll make connections soon enough...provided you get out there, of course.

Unless your mom is an invalid, move out.

Not having a car isn't such a big deal, especially if you live in a fairly large city. Heck, if you live in a big enough city, like NYC or Chicago, you don't need one at all, so if you're already moving out, why not go there?

 
 
 Posted:   Jul 11, 2006 - 7:55 AM   
 By:   The_Mark_of_Score-O   (Member)

My recommendation is go out and rent a DVD of William Wyler's 1965 film, THE COLLECTOR, to see exactly how it's done.

 
 Posted:   Jul 11, 2006 - 9:34 AM   
 By:   Damian   (Member)

Especially when one is 32, not very good-looking, still lives at home with mom, has no car, and is painfully shy around attractive women? frown

Apart from the being ugly and no car big grin I can sympathise with you.Though most of the time I'm happy without one.I,myself,can take some comfort in the fact,that,if I went out more a guy as fabulous as me would pull quiet quickly,or not embarrassment

Oh Im' rolling up to 40 by the way

 
 
 Posted:   Jul 11, 2006 - 1:39 PM   
 By:   dragon53   (Member)

MR. JACK:

Here in Houston, all you need is a billion dollars (i.e. Anna Nicole Smith).
I enjoy looking at the local newspaper's society pages and see billionaire Fayez Sarofim, very old and very overweight, with his 30's, third wife. Mr. Sarofim was divorced by his 1st wife when she discovered he was sleeping with his office manager. Wife 1 hired Houston's 2 leading divorce lawyers and got mega millions in a divorce settlement. Then Sarofim married his office manager.
Wife 2 (ex-office manager) hired Wife 1's two divorce lawyers after she found out Sarofim was screwing around again. During the divorce trial, Wife 2 began sleeping with one of her two lawyers. After she got big bucks in the divorce settlement, Wife 2 bought one of the lawyers a new Mercedes because she was happy with the settlement.....until she found out her two lawyers got Wife 1 a lot more than they got her. She then sued her two lawyers for malpractice. Later Wife 2 died in a mountain-climbing accident in Tibet.
Then Sarofim's son, also overweight and no Robert Redford, began sleeping with multimillionaire Houston Mayor Bob Lanier's daughter, Courtney. Unfortunately, Sarofim Son's wife was Courtney's best friend since childhood. Son's wife found out that her best friend (now ex-best friend) was sleeping with her husband so she hired the same two lawyers that represented the two ex-wives of her stepfather, Sarofim Sr. After sordid trial documents of admitted cocaine use by the Sarofims in front of their young daughter, Sarofim Jr. settled out of court.
Thus, Courtney Lanier married her ex-best friend's ex-husband, thus uniting two of Houston's wealthiest and sleaziest families. Shortly thereafter, Courtney Lanier Sarofim gave birth to a daughter.
As for the two divorce lawyers, they're licking their chops at the prospect of the infant Sarofim daughter growing up, marrying a Houston billionaire and divorcing him.....

PS....a sincere good luck in finding a girlfriend.

 
 Posted:   Jul 11, 2006 - 3:02 PM   
 By:   Ron Pulliam   (Member)

My recommendation is go out and rent a DVD of William Wyler's 1965 film, THE COLLECTOR, to see exactly how it's done.


If ever a bad taste prize is offered for any given post to a thread, this one has my vote.

 
 Posted:   Jul 11, 2006 - 3:27 PM   
 By:   DOGBELLE   (Member)



you can ask a young lady over for some breakfeast.
be bold and darring. p.s always hold the door open,it gets them every time. it can turn a thank you into a chance meeting.

 
 
 Posted:   Jul 11, 2006 - 3:45 PM   
 By:   Donna   (Member)

Over the last several years, I attended 4 weddings where the couples met online. I work with 5 people who met their spouses on line.

Their suggesgtions: Go to a good online service and be painstakingly honest. Make sure that anyone who answers your ad will not be surprised. If the person who answers your ad (or any ads that you answer) was also painstakingly honest, you have the start of a good relationship.

Good Luck to you!

 
 Posted:   Jul 11, 2006 - 5:13 PM   
 By:   PhiladelphiaSon   (Member)

My brother-in-law, very successful in business, with an enormous home and cars, etc., in his 40's, finally is engaged to someone he met on Match.Com. So, it doesn't just happen to those who still live with mom.

 
 
 Posted:   Jul 11, 2006 - 6:21 PM   
 By:   crimedog   (Member)

You could try being on a reality show, like Thor

 
 Posted:   Jul 11, 2006 - 6:44 PM   
 By:   CAT   (Member)

Get out more, Mr. Jack. Don't sit at home wondering too much. Join clubs and groups that interest you, and chances are there will be a member of the opposite sex doing the same exact thing! Above all...BE YOURSELF, cause I'm sure you're a real sweet guy.
Get out there and have some fun, and remember that there's a gal out there looking for YOU!

 
 
 Posted:   Jul 11, 2006 - 7:38 PM   
 By:   manderley   (Member)

.....My recommendation is go out and rent a DVD of William Wyler's 1965 film, THE COLLECTOR, to see exactly how it's done.


If ever a bad taste prize is offered for any given post to a thread, this one has my vote.....



Before you award that prize, Ron, take a look at Score-O's post in the "June Allyson, R.I.P." thread, for another contender.


(I'd like to think we might chalk it off to his having a bad day perhaps......)

 
 Posted:   Jul 11, 2006 - 8:30 PM   
 By:   Ron Pulliam   (Member)

.....My recommendation is go out and rent a DVD of William Wyler's 1965 film, THE COLLECTOR, to see exactly how it's done.


If ever a bad taste prize is offered for any given post to a thread, this one has my vote.....



Before you award that prize, Ron, take a look at Score-O's post in the "June Allyson, R.I.P." thread, for another contender.


(I'd like to think we might chalk it off to his having a bad day perhaps......)



He's a rare duck that Score_O! I expect the unexpected from him...

...but sometimes I anticipate just a smidge of compassion...!



big grin

 
 
 Posted:   Jul 11, 2006 - 11:41 PM   
 By:   zippy   (Member)

Compassion! ?
From Charles Foster Kane, never!

 
 
 Posted:   Jul 12, 2006 - 12:04 AM   
 By:   Joe E.   (Member)

Especially when one is 32, not very good-looking, still lives at home with mom, has no car, and is painfully shy around attractive women? frown

Unfortunately, I don't think there's much hope. The stuff you mention could be worked around, but the fact you also post on a board for film score geeks really dashes any chance of romance against the rocks. I'm in the same boat.



















( wink )

 
 Posted:   Jul 12, 2006 - 12:43 AM   
 By:   Mr. Jack   (Member)

Unless your mom is an invalid, move out.

I make about $200 a week bagging groceries, so there's no way in hell I could afford an apartment.

 
 
 Posted:   Jul 12, 2006 - 1:08 AM   
 By:   manderley   (Member)

.....I make about $200 a week bagging groceries, so there's no way in hell I could afford an apartment.....


Mr. Jack, there are always options when you want something enough.

When I was in college 50 years ago I had a summer job which paid very little---certainly not enough for an apartment, even then---and no car.

So, I took a room, with bath, which I COULD afford, in a nice clean home, presided over by a sweet gray-haired little old lady.

I was happy to be on my own and responsible for myself, I'm sure the lady was happy to have me there at night when she was alone, and nearly every evening when I came back to my room I'd find a plate with a piece of newly baked pie or cake on a nearby shelf.

Though this kind of living arrangement is certainly slimmed down in amenities compared to an apartment, and despite the fact that it all sounds like an old MGM movie with Spring Byington, it was great and a wonderful experience I'll never forget.

You can't ask for more than that.

At 32 you need to get out of the family house and into something else, even if it is only a temporary room.

 
 
 Posted:   Jul 12, 2006 - 2:59 AM   
 By:   joan hue   (Member)

Yes, I agree with you Manderley. Jack, if your job won't allow you to leave home, then you need to reexamine your career options. You may need to return to some kind of school for more advanced job skills. Look at some of the vocational options in your area, and you may have to pay for schooling with some kind of a loan. As soon as you acquire (and it may take some time) job skills that allow a career move and the opportunity to make more money, move out. Staying in the rut you are in right now won't help you find romance.

 
You must log in or register to post.
  Go to page:    
© 2020 Film Score Monthly. All Rights Reserved...