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Vote Quimby.
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Attention Beard-O's:
Stop endangering humanity and shave your beard. ;-)
The CDC (Centers for Disease Control) suggests a beard will break the seal of a mask using to keep you from getting Coronavirus. Yes, this is a real thing:
So, stop endangering the rest of humanity 'cause you want to look weird with a beard. ;-)
And while it doesn't say anything about it, I'm sure the beard is germ haven.
So, shave immediately to ensure you don't catch it and infect us.
Also, vote Quimby.
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Posted: |
Mar 17, 2020 - 8:56 AM
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By: |
Jim Phelps
(Member)
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It's happening again, gents.
Because of the world's present circumstances, which means many of us must remain at home, I have decided yet again to grow a beard.
In addition to "The Bearded Trio" of John Williams, George Lucas, and Steven Spielberg, there is now the added pressure of Francis Ford Coppola and John Milus having longstanding facial hair. Can you believe the nerve of those guys?!?
Well, whatever the case, the five of them implore me to once again join the ranks of Graham and Tall Guy in the world of beards.
I have come to loathe the growing-out stage, but our necessary collective isolation may lead me to not caring one whit about my appearance until my newest beard arrives.
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Posted: |
Mar 18, 2020 - 8:50 AM
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By: |
Graham Watt
(Member)
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My beard thanks you Jim for your interest. Let me ask it. What? Jane's in trouble? Ah! It's being silly again. It's been pretending to be Cheetah of late. It thinks I look like Jonathan Vicemuller. But Vicemuller was clean-shaven! Even when he "should" have worn a beard, playing that Edward Riceborough character, the famous slave-trader and rapist "Tarzan" in the racist films from Hollywood, California, starting in the early 1930s and continuing right up until nowadays with Hugh Hefner's "revisionary" vision "Gray Stoke", which turns the idiot into some Victorian gentleman, played by Christopher Von Lamberton, with a beard.
In all seriousness - and I mean this most sincerely - I have been bearded since July 2012. That's not to say that my beard hasn't changed. Of course it has. It grows, I cut it back, it grows again, I cut it back again. But I always cut it back in a slightly different manner. Sometimes I will encourage the moustachio bit to droop just a little bit more, sometimes I'll leave the "chin landing-strip" just a tiny bit longer. I've even let the chin-straggle go out of control on occasion. But I have never, since that fateful summer of 2016, gone back and done the full potato. I did initially have just a Mormon's beard (no moustache), but he asked for it back and since then I've just been experimenting with combinations of facial topiary, mostly unsuccessfully, but there must be an answer, there just must be...
Like many here, I am cut off from the rest of the world. I can see my family through the plate glass window, and they see me, but they rarely study my follicle folly. When this is all over and the authorities come to knock on my cell door, all they'll discover is my spaceman suit. Empty. The body gone - no trace of even a skeleton - and the only thing remaining inside my astronauts helmet will be a pair of glasses, and a beard-and-moustache combo like some cheap carnival Santa Claus disguise.
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CoronaBeards.
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Beards and stubble provide a rough surface that will disrupt the life cycle of the virus by causing it to it to unravel and die. For those of us who do not need face masks, having a beard is our health and safety duty.
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