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 Posted:   Feb 8, 2019 - 1:07 PM   
 By:   Jim Cleveland   (Member)

I found some grapes crying last night. I heard it through the grapevine.


(yeah, that's an original baby!)


It would be better if you used the name of a type of grape in the set-up, such as "I found a bunch of Muscadines crying last night.... I heard it through the grapevine!" big grinbig grin

 
 
 Posted:   Feb 8, 2019 - 1:08 PM   
 By:   Jim Cleveland   (Member)

Bananas are tasty, but they won't appeal to everyone! big grinbig grinbig grin

 
 Posted:   Feb 8, 2019 - 1:52 PM   
 By:   DOGBELLE   (Member)

i'm very sorry.
but i must place a call to the P.C. police over on facebook.
the mob is coming for all of you. you should know better black line me will you!

 
 
 Posted:   Feb 12, 2019 - 1:52 PM   
 By:   Jim Cleveland   (Member)

Venus Williams, Freddie Mercury and Bruno Mars walk in a bar.














Ummm....they didn't really planet that way! big grinbig grinbig grinbig grinbig grin

 
 Posted:   Feb 12, 2019 - 6:43 PM   
 By:   Mr. Marshall   (Member)

The Virginia politician was confused about the controversy over putting on blackface while doing his Michael Jackson impersonation. After all he pleaded "Michael not only wore whiteface , he wore a white nose!"

 
 Posted:   Feb 12, 2019 - 6:57 PM   
 By:   Mr. Marshall   (Member)

Newest warning seen on bottles of black shoe polish.....

Virginia Politicians: Do Not Put On Face!


big grin

The fine print warning reads: Facial application approved for use by authorized personnel only: Jimmy Kimmel, Jimmy Fallon, Ted Danson, Tom Hanks, Joy Behar, Sarah Silverman, Joni Mitchell...



..Al Jolson...Megan Kelley...

 
 Posted:   Feb 12, 2019 - 6:58 PM   
 By:   Mr. Marshall   (Member)

Venus Williams, Freddie Mercury and Bruno Mars walk in a bar.














Ummm....they didn't really planet that way! big grinbig grinbig grinbig grinbig grin[/endquote

Took me a while but i finally got it.

 
 Posted:   Feb 12, 2019 - 7:56 PM   
 By:   Mr. Marshall   (Member)

Newest warning seen on bottles of black shoe polish.....

Virginia Politicians: Do Not Put On Face!


big grin

The fine print warning reads: Facial application approved for use by authorized personnel only: Jimmy Kimmel, Jimmy Fallon, Ted Danson, Tom Hanks, Joy Behar, Sarah Silverman, Joni Mitchell...



..Al Jolson...Megan Kelley...


Justin Boggan....

 
 
 Posted:   Feb 15, 2019 - 9:54 PM   
 By:   Jim Cleveland   (Member)

A Cow that doesn't produce milk is an udder failure! big grinbig grinbig grinbig grinbig grin

 
 Posted:   Feb 16, 2019 - 6:40 AM   
 By:   solium   (Member)

Three potatoes are crossing the street.
Which one is the whore?
The middle one says "Idaho"


 
 Posted:   Feb 16, 2019 - 10:02 AM   
 By:   Adam B.   (Member)

A Cow that doesn't produce milk is an udder failure! big grinbig grinbig grinbig grinbig grin

...and did you hear about the cow that tried to jump over the barbed wire fence? It was an udder disaster!

 
 Posted:   Feb 16, 2019 - 10:04 AM   
 By:   Justin Boggan   (Member)

"Knock knock."

"Who's there?"

"Interrupting cow."

"Interrupting cow w--"

"MOO!!!"

 
 Posted:   Feb 19, 2019 - 12:38 PM   
 By:   jackfu   (Member)

"I guess no noose is bad noose!" - soon to be former Empire star.

 
 
 Posted:   Feb 28, 2019 - 9:51 PM   
 By:   Jim Cleveland   (Member)

An elderly man thinking his wife was losing her hearing went about
20' behind her and asked "Can you hear me sweetheart"?. No reply.
Moved to 10' and inquired again. No reply.
5' and not a word.
A few inches behind ear, he asked "Can you hear me now honey"?
His wife said "For the fourth time, yes."


Now THAT'S FUNNY!big grinbig grinbig grinbig grin

 
 Posted:   Mar 8, 2019 - 12:45 PM   
 By:   Justin Boggan   (Member)

Police toilet stolen. A spokesman for the department said police have nothing to go on.

 
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