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Posted: |
Dec 12, 2018 - 6:38 AM
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By: |
jackfu
(Member)
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One summer day I was driving to town when I saw ahead a Paramedic truck parked in the highway median, lights flashing. As I was nearing it, the driver, a friend of mine, waved me over, so I stopped behind his truck.
He was almost frantic and asked if I was heading toward town. I said I was and he asked, “Can you help me? My truck broke down and I’ve got to get this to the hospital ASAP!” “Sure”, I said. He handed me a small cooler and said “This contains a guy’s toes. He pulled his lawnmower back too far and cut ‘em off. He’s in an ambulance, maybe at the hospital already.
I had to find his toes in the grass so I’m running late." I took the cooler and opened my car door. Suddenly he said “Wait! I think I see someone coming! Yep, here, I’ll take those back, but thanks for the offer of help. My backup is almost here. Looks like they’ve sent…
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Bloke in factory working on machine, it comes down and chops all his fingers off.
Rushed to hospital, doc says "If had brought your fingers i could've sewn them back on"
Man says "i know that doc.. but i couldnt pick 'em up!"
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Posted: |
Dec 13, 2018 - 2:03 PM
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By: |
jackfu
(Member)
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A young monk, seeking higher piety is told of a remote monastery, which, if he can endure his stay there will help him obtain piety beyond his dreams – if he can withstand the harsh requirements.
Accepting the challenge, he goes there and meets with the Abbot. The Abbot explains what is expected and what the young monk will reap and learn there.
The Abbot warns, “Your performance will be reviewed once every five years. After your review, you will be allowed to speak only two words. At no other time will you ever speak here. Only two words shall you speak every five years. All your time will be devoted to study and learn and serve. Should you speak out of turn, you will be expelled. Understood?”
“Yes, Abbot, I understand and I am ready to proceed.”, the monk replies.
The first five years go by quietly with the monk showing great dedication.
The Abbot sits with him and is pleased with his overall progress, with some suggestions for improvement.
The Abbot asks, “Would you like to speak your two words?” The monk nods.
“Food bad.”
The Abbot excuses the monk and he returns to his studies.
Another five years pass by and the process is repeated.
“Your two words?”
“Bed hard.”
Another five years pass by and the process is repeated after fifteen years now.
“Please speak your two words.”, says the Abbot.
The monk replies, “I QUIT!”
The Abbot calmly retorts, “Figures. You’ve done nothing but complain since you got here.”
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Let's hope the injured person's friends aren't lack toes intolerant.
And the bell is rung!
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Thanks, guys. I never knew until tonight that anyone had offered an answer to my query about the mysterious black bars. Reading them now, however, I'm still completely ignorant and confused. But by playing around on those bars just now, at least, I stumbled onto how to read what's hidden under them.
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Dats funnee
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The sheet music to "Dunkirk" has been released:
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Dats funnee.
But its clearly the original partiture.
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